I had a fun conversation with my youngest brother this weekend. He was hanging out with me and my boys, chatting and sipping coffee, when he started telling me about a potential friend making moment he'd had with a new guy in town. "He asked me what I did for work, and I told him I just fill shampoo bottles. Then he asked me where I live and I told him about having an apartment in government housing. He said something like 'you're just a loser kind of guy then'. I watched him drive away in a nice new construction truck. I didn't really like him very much."
I asked him if he knew why the guy would think of him as a loser type. "Because I live in government housing and fill shampoo bottles." was my brothers assumption.
"Nope," I explained,"it's because you think you're just a loser kind of guy. If you had answered proudly, and honestly, that you work for the local barber and pick up extra work delivering newspapers now and then, and that you have your own place on Oak Street, the guy would have seen success. Because you would have shown it to him."
"You're right." my brother conceded.
"I know, because your story included you watching that guy drive off in a new truck. So you're still feeling as if success has to do with what people have. If you ask me, that guy sounded a bit more like a loser guy, for thinking he needed to say that to you."
"That's true." my brother said, and suddenly got excited,"That guy was a big loser and jerk! He's probably never going to be happy or successful."
So, I dialed it back a bit. "I don't agree with that, Rye. I mean, you don't even know him, and when he said you were a loser kind of guy, he was just telling you what you had told him with your attitude. He might be very happy and even nice. I'm just saying that his words were less impressive than your life."
My brother thought about it and admitted,"I guess your right. If I feel successful I'll meet more people who treat me successful. Actually, lately I've been meeting lots more people who are nice and I think it's because I'm getting better at being nice. So it makes sense to do the same thing with feeling like a successful person instead of a loser kind of guy."
Well said, little brother!
Later on in the day my "loser kind of guy" brother drove me and my boys to town in his car because we don't have one of our own right now. I made sure to point that out as well.
When you introduce yourself or your children to others, make sure to do so with confidence! Not only will it remind people to treat you like you're successful, but it'll remind you to feel it!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers
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| My brother and me! |
