Come with me to yesterday.
My hubby and I are running around, juggling issues, sharing ideas, tossing suggestions, trying to be proactive about logistical things and financial troubles and transportation deficits. I've got to drive our limping vehicle one place, he's gotta get a ride from a guy he knows to another place... as we go our separate ways I turn to tell him I love him, but his eyes are on the ground, his mind is elsewhere, and he leaves me hanging. No biggie, I get it!
Moments later he phones me. "Where are you?" he asks. I tell him that I'm actually only two cars behind him and the guy he's riding with. "Please pull over." he says.
I'm a little worried. We've got a lot going on. What did we miss? What did we mess up? Who did we forget?
I see the car he's in pull over ahead of me, I watch him hop out of the passenger seat and head toward me, shaking his head, looking disappointed. He climbs in the van beside me, and looks at me, and lifts his oil stained hat high on his head. His big, thick, black, rough, mechanic hands reach for my small, white, son snuggling, nail bitten ones. "I'm sorry about that, I shouldn't have just walked away." he says, almost quietly. Then he leans over and kisses me.
It's not necessary to be perfect, present, or the best--not all the time.
It is, however, beautiful to be gracious, self aware, and loving.
We all get distracted or overwhelmed; moms, dads, husbands, wives, friends, brothers, sisters, teachers, uncles, aunts and more. We all have those moments, those days, those weeks....
But if we remember not to let our distracted selves become our habitual selves, and if we remember to reach out and connect when we feel that we're drifting or forgetting, then we are right. We are honest. We are beautifully complete.
We are all innately beautiful.
Revealing our reasons and comfortably humbling ourselves to loved ones is one way let that beauty shine!!
In that moment yesterday, with my husband, I fell even more in love with him and I felt even more lovable myself.
So please, don't be afraid to let it shine!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton
