"No," I answered honestly from my computer. "Although my sister, your aunt, used to deal with being bullied. I did stick up for her a couple of times. I even kicked one really bad bully in the nuts! But I have a bit of guilt over the times she asked me to help her and I was afraid. So I snottily told her I was busy and that she could help herself. I have a fair amount of guilt over that."
"Mom," Declyn scolded through the bathroom door,"my aunt is amazing. Do you think she'd be the person she is today if you stuck up for her every single time? You shouldn't feel guilty, you should feel proud of her."
I turned away from my computer, swiveling in my chair to face the restroom door. "Good point, Declyn. But I really should have at least tried to help her, so she'd feel me supporting her. Even if we both ended up getting bullied, at least she'd have known I was there for her."
I could hear my son washing his hands. Then he opened the door and looked at me, a little disappointed. "People have to learn all kinds of things, and you stuck up for her some of the time so she knew you loved her. When you didn't stick up for her, she had to learn a new way. I think you need to learn that feeling guilty doesn't do any good, and that instead you should just learn from it for the next time."
I stared after my nearly fourteen year old son as he walked out of the room and headed outside to play with our dogs.
That kid knows a thing or two!
We can't always be there for our loved ones, and we won't always be there even when we can. We're human too.
Forgive yourself, learn about yourself, and create yourself.
You are forever evolving, and so are your loved ones, don't pretend you can completely control it. But do believe you can completely be a part of the creating.
Then create; with intention, flexibility, and forgiveness!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
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| Me and Declyn The kid totally schooled me! It was awesome! |
