I carefully turned my body away from my husband, hoping I wouldn't wake him as I whisper explained to my brother, "I told you, I don't think your problem is stupid. I think letting it run your life is stupid. We all have problems that other people wouldn't consider a problem, that's not stupid, but we're stupid when we let them control us."
It was past midnight and I was too tired to come up with smart words, so I just kept reusing stupid.
"I know," my brother sighed.
"I know it's not easy for you, but I also know you can figure this out. You always do, don't you?" I reminded my brother. He's come a long way since our childhood. It used to be that he had to have mom or me or one of our other sisters to lean on. Now, we just give him a hug and a hip bump in the right direction, and he figures his life out.
"That's true. Thanks, Tsara. Sorry I woke you up."
I quietly returned the cordless phone to its cradle, turned toward my hubby and rubbed his broad back while I lay in the delicious silence and thought about life.
I've been blessed with a family that is wild and--individually--unbalanced.
We're not for everyone!
Often even the slightest taste of our out of the box beliefs mixed with our love for personal responsibility and equality can leave people disoriented, or simply angry. That's okay.
But for many, we are filled with nourishment and delight. There are those that fill their plates and come back for seconds, often requesting with honest interest the recipe!
And for most people we offer an idea. An idea for a recipe that they take home and adjust for their own tastes and loved one's dietary restrictions or preferences.
No matter who you call, or who calls you at midnight, regardless of whether or not you have strange problems or a stupid habit of letting them take over your emotions now and then, there's nourishment there.
In the friends you make, the phone calls you answer or ignore, the ideas you reject, and the colors you love.... there's nourishment there.
There is also poison. And if you spend your life denying the existence of it, seeking to cleanse it from the world, or addicted to the poison, that's what you'll most often ingest.
When my brother phones me at midnight to talk through a problem I can worry about the poison it is causing his brain, my sleepless body, my marriage that is being interrupted often by extended family and their needs. Or I can digest and seek out the nourishment of knowing I'm a supportive sister, a loving wife who turns quietly over and whispers, and part of a beautiful family that continues to forever grow and reach out and grow some more.
I consistently choose the nourishment.
And regardless of what recipe you prefer, I hope you choose nourishment too!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
|"Family ends where judgment begins." ~Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD|