Autism Answer: Celebrating Declyn

When I ask Declyn what he wants for his birthday he always says the same things. "I don't need anything." "It's about the heart, not presents." "Let's spend time together, don't spend money." "I want everyone to be happy for my birthday." Stuff like that. When I asked him that same question a couple of days ago he added, "It's a day to celebrate me, not buy me things."

So today, on Declyn's fifteenth birthday, I've gathered a few short Facebook posts (from the past year) about my youngest boy! I hope you'll join me as we celebrate him!!!

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ME: Don't worry about it, Declyn. That's normal at your age. 

DECLYN: Mom, did you just call me normal!?

ME: Oops! Sorry!

We had a bit of a giggle.

DECLYN: Our family wouldn't know what to do with normal. 

ME: You might be right. We'd probably stand there stunned, and be like, 'I dunno. Poke it with a stick.'...

We had a bit of a bigger giggle.

Then, Shay walked in. 

SHAY: Hey you guys, it's not healthy for anyone to laugh at anyone. (My sixteen year old looked at us, disappointed.) And anyway, if we met someone normal Dramma (his grandma, my mom) would just adopt them so she could help them heal. 

We had a big hearty delicious coffee spewing belly jiggling laugh!

Happy Saturday friends!!!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!

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This morning my youngest son was playing with my ponytail and saying, "Mom, sometimes I want things that I just can't have."

I was kind of annoyed, because I had a lot of work to do and I was CERTAIN that he was about to say something about wishing I would go to the store for him. My youngest son has a bit of a passive/aggressive side! I waited a sec, took a breath (breathing in comfort, breathing out annoyance) and asked him to tell me what he had in mind. What was he was wanting that he just couldn't have? 

"You know, like I want Canadian candy-bars and Grandpa. But I can't have them."

I'm so glad I took that breath. For his sake. 

Then, I took one more. For mine.
Hugs, smiles, and love!

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"Darn! I look good today." ~My Son, Just Before School
He was right, too!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!

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"I can't really go out with my girlfriend anymore because her parents are a little bit racist. I'm feeling sad." 

My son said this to me today. I felt sad too. 

And then I remembered to go into the world and continue to insist on change and acceptance. I remembered to get busy exploring ways to do this, and enjoying conversation with my son about how we hope the world will evolve. 

Because my son is better than perfect, and his girlfriend will be missing out on some serious wonderful. 

Also, I don't want us to feel sad.
Hugs, smiles, and love!!

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I invite you to "LIKE" our Facebook Page, Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton.

There I continue to share stories, insights, and updates from all of my sons, and all of my fabulous family members!!

Happy birthday darling Declyn!!!!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

 Singing "Sober" by P!NK with Declyn!!