When you see a child screaming and a parent giving up, don't assume autism, lazy, alcoholic, special needs, uneducated or anything else. Offer help or a suggestion, make a connection rather than an assumption.
When you see a young woman push her way past others in line and head to the cashier as though she matters most, don't assume rude, sensory overwhelmed, racist, socially challenged or anything else. Offer help or a suggestion, make a connection rather than an assumption.
When you hear your child tell you about a friend who always smells bad, don't assume uncaring parents, poverty, fear of water, global warming alarmists, or anything else. Offer help or a suggestion, make a connection rather than an assumption.
When your co-worker sleeps with all kinds of women and talks about it far to openly, don't assume player, sex addict, low self-esteem, mental health issues or anything else. Offer help or a suggestion, make a connection rather than an assumption.
Here's the thing. Very often you won't be able to help or offer a suggestion in the moment. Very often the suggestion and connection will be made with someone other than the specific offender. Very often one or more of your possible assumptions would be correct. But still, I suggest making a connection rather than an assumption.
When we assume, we are less open to a different truth.
Perhaps if we are always aware of all the possibilities, of all the differences in our world, we will be more comfortable and curious, more willing to make a real and lovely connection.
My brother often feels overwhelmed and steps in front of people without noticing. When they yell at him he feels defensive. When they pity him and allow it because he seems disabled, he doesn't learn. When they point out his mistake without making any assumptions as to why he did it, he apologizes and offers a smile and allows them to go first. Sometimes they chat. Sometimes not. Always they have just made a comfortable connection.
Rather than make an assumptive judgement as to why people do what they do, maybe offer help or a suggestion, make a connection rather than an assumption.
I'm not assuming you don't already do that, I'm just offering help and a suggestion. You know, making a connection!! tee hee!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!!
Autism Answers
