Monday, June 3, 2013
Autism Answer: Have a grown-up crush on humanity!
When teenagers have a crush they put blinders up to any wrong their butterflies-in-the-stomach sweetie may be up to. That's because teenagers are self-centered and a little bit silly! They're thinking about how they themselves look to the other. Am I pretty and the wind beneath his wings? Am I pretty and the girl who'll put him in his place? Am I pretty and nice? Am I pretty and.... ? (ya, I wanted to be pretty when I was a teen!)
But as we grow, hopefully having a crush means thinking bigger. We still WANT to see good in the person we are crushing on, but are more willing to be unaccepting of the things that we don't want in our lives, or in the world. We are more comfortable with our beliefs and vision and willing to make choices that match our desires, while being open to seeing--though sometimes reluctantly!--qualities and actions that will take us off course.
My brothers were all on the spectrum of autism, and I love them with all my heart. But it wouldn't help them to be putting their lips on heaters or locking teachers in closets. And so my mom exampled loving unconditionally while expecting change and growth. If my brothers hadn't been so challenged, this lesson--the acceptance inherent in guiding and asking for change-- may have not been so clear. But it was.
And so now I have a grown-up crush on humanity, I engage with a desire to see what I like and a willingness to ask for changes in the things I don't. I want my relationship with humanity to be mutually beneficial. I want to learn from it as it learns from me, and I want it to last! There is a place for compromise and flexibility, as with all relationships. But I want humanity and I to respect each other enough to allow for healthy and happy growth that encourages difference and strange bedfellows!
Also... I kinda hope it thinks I'm pretty!! Tee hee!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)