Yesterday we were finally sitting in the movie theater--we'd made it! Flat tires and empty bank accounts tried to slow us down, but we'd prevailed! Like the mind-boggling tricks we were about to witness in the movie, I was feeling magical!! My energy was bubbling out of me like the soap suds during a cartoon characters first attempt at using a washing machine!
The previews came on and I grabbed my son's hand with excitement! A trailer showed two little girls gone missing and desperate parents out of their minds with fear, I grabbed my other son's arm to bury my head and hold back tears! Another trailer... this time I see Vin Diesel!! I love Vin Diesel! It's another Riddick movie!! I made excited gasps and tapped my children on the shoulder so they would look at me and experience my excitement too!!
Okay... so I was annoying. Plain and simple! My boys finally asked me to please calm down, reign in my energy and stop pouring it all over the strangers sitting in our row etc. And they were right, but I was so excited that we were there! About to see Mark Ruffalo on the big screen! I love Mark Ruffalo! And my boys were with me!! I REALLY love my boys!!!! Such fun!!
I did eventually calm down and we had a great time. But I couldn't help thinking about this thing that I've thought about so very many times before. Often the things we love about a person are also the things that annoy us.
My overly excited habit is usually fun and one of the reasons my kids adore me! I will have a good time and see the fabulous in most situations, and my boys find it infectious! But every now and then, I'm a bit much. I've always been this way. And I can be annoying... even to me!
I see this same thing with all the people that I love. Something that I see as a great quality and a valuable part of their personality, is also the thing that makes them sometimes annoying. My husband is very strong and goes way out of his way to keep us safe, I love that! But he also asks me not to walk home from the store because there is a not-so-good neighborhood I'd walk through. I think that's annoying! But when I first said something cliche like,"You can't tell me where to walk!" he responded with a perfectly correct,"I want to protect you. What would the boys think of me if anything happened to you? They trust me to keep you guys safe." Darn. I love that about him, but I like walking! How annoying!
My severely autistic brother is constantly tidying up. Flicking and shoving and tossing everything off to the side or under something. He likes to feel useful and enjoys empty space. He is motivated to be a contributing and kind family member and I love it!! However, I can't just put something down for a second without him wanting to push it to the side or tuck it under something. Receipts and lost shoes are living somewhere, free of being an eyesore but free of being useful too! That's kind of annoying!
I see it everywhere and often, a great thing that comes with a bit of baggage. A bit of compromising and learning that'll have to be done. And I've learned to love seeing that!!!
I've become quite comfortable with the other side of the coin! And I hope the strangers sitting in our row at the movie theater the other day have too!! Tee hee!!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
