Autism Answer: Highlighting what we like

My friend and I were chatting about our kids--who are all teenagers now. We both have boys who absolutely love it when we play with their hair. We also each have one son who loves it when we play with their hair, but doesn't love to wash their hair.

Here's a snippet of our conversation: 

MY FRIEND: I don't want to tell him he's gross or make him feel self-conscious, but it is my job to teach him. I try to tell him in the nicest way, and I compliment his hair when it's clean. But man... it sure isn't working. We've been at this for years!

ME: Ya, I get it. With my kiddo I just started getting all excited to play with his hair every time it was clean. I started asking randomly,"Is your hair clean? Because I feel like playing with your hair and it feels so soft on my fingers when it's clean!" I just sort of ignore it when it's greasy unless he asks me. And then I only play with it for a few moments, with love but without excitement. It seems to be working. He washes his hair far more often now!

MY FRIEND: Huh. I'm going to try that.

ME: Cool. Want more coffee?

I'm no smarty-pants parenting expert, but in highlighting and celebrating the things I like when playing mom, I have noticed that my house is happier and my boys tend to respond quicker.

Also, I've noticed that my friend and I sip more coffee! Because I highlight it! Because I really like it!! tee hee!

Hugs, smiles and love!!