Saturday, October 24, 2015

Autism Answer: Over The Years

Me and my brother.

NOW:
When I have to run errands and my brother wants to come with me (he usually wants to come with me!) I almost always happily bring him along. 


TEN YEARS AGO:
When I have to run errands and my autistic brother wants to come with me (he often wants to come with me!) I think about where I'm going and what the people will do when they see him flick and jump and clap, then I shrug and remind myself that he has as much right to the world as anyone, and I bring him along. 


FIFTEEN YEARS AGO:
When I have to run errands and my severely autistic brother wants to come with me (he sometimes wants to come with me) I avoid looking at him and show him all the things around the house he can do while I'm gone and worry about the people at the store who will be frightened or inconvenienced by his flicks and jumps and clapping and then I worry about the food he will eat while I'm gone and the mess he will make and I feel momentarily trapped but then I remember how easily my mom happily takes him everywhere when she can and so I pretend to be comfortable bringing him along. 


TWENTY YEARS AGO:
When I have to run errands and my low functioning autistic brother wants to come with me (he follows me around when I'm babysitting) I change my mind and stay home because I don't like everybody staring at us or worrying about my brother eating food off the ground and I don't want to teach anybody how to care about us and I don't know how to care about us so I look at the clock or calendar and wait until mom gets home. 


I've learned a lot about love over the years. 

My brother has been patient. My mom has consistently loved us equally and taught us what we needed to know based on where we were. 

The world is a little bit slower to learn about love and acceptance, but I refuse to stay home and fear it. Not because I'm better than anyone or smarter, but because I've been given the gift of patience and consistent teaching by my brother and my mom. And I know that there is almost nothing in my life I appreciate more. 

So I will bring my family along as I give the world that same gift no matter how long it takes. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

My brother, Dar, about twenty-five years ago.
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Author's Note: I invite you to read my book Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself: A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up for more insights and over-the-years life lessons. Peek at the book and costumer reviews on Amazon. Hugs!!