Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Autism Answer: Marvelous Marriage Message!

Howdy friends! I had an interesting thought the other day. I was thinking about how much I like my marriage and how one of the reasons is, it's better than being single!

When I was single there was a part of me always wondering or waiting. Even when I wasn't at all interested in dating, there was part of me that wanted to stay open to the idea... just in case. And when I WAS dating it was almost worse! Every annoyance or disagreement I had with this potential partner had me wondering if I should give up on the relationship or work through. And the wondering had me never truly trying!

Now that I'm married (and was smart enough to marry a fella who loves me and our boys like crazy!) I never wonder and always know that any annoyance or disagreement can and will be worked through. Interestingly, that makes most of them much less annoying and our disagreements much less worrisome! Because I know we have to figure something out, we do! And because I have every intention of being with my hubby forever, it's easy to let the unimportant things go and take care of the issues that actually truly matter. 

Well guess what? This is a great attitude to have when parenting, especially special needs kiddos! Obviously we aren't going to break-up with our kids, so instead we look for answers with an eye on solving issues and teaching skills. However, sometimes when our kids have unique challenges we can make the mistake of looking around for others with bigger, better answers. The right therapy or the best advice. When we do this, we're much like I was when I was single. Looking around for something better or giving up on a good thing (like an idea or a therapy) because of one or two hiccups. Oops!

Now that I'm married it's not as if we never have to work things out. I still reach out for advice and suggestions from others every now and then. However, I do it knowing that my honey and I will figure it out and solve any real issues, together. I do it knowing that my marriage is forever, and we have what it takes to keep it beautiful!

Let's always remember to hold onto that attitude as parents too! When we play with our kids knowing absolutely that together we can solve any issue, and we peel away any less than necessary problems, so much magic and connecting can happen! There is no one right diet or therapy for autism, but there is a right attitude! A belief in yourself and your child and a willingness to look crazy proving it!!

I never, ever, ever thought that one day I would be happily married. But man, are my kids and I glad that I am! There are so many marvelous messages in my marriage!!

Hugs, smiles and love!!!

*Authors note: Today is my husband's birthday. It seemed fitting to post this marvelous marriage message, considering that he turns sixty-two today and is still marvelous!!! Happy birthday to my fantastical husband!!