This review was originally written for and published at DisabledWorld.com
 |
| Grace, film capture: actors Fiadhnait Canning (right) and Luca Malocco Mulville (left) |
My soulmate and I crawled into our big bed, the back elevated to
perfect film watching position, and snuggled toward each other*. Within
moments we were swept into Grace - a short film that felt effortlessly beautiful and moving.
The operative word there is "felt".
There is nothing effortless about telling a story well, casting a
film perfectly, lighting scenes flawlessly, meaningfully inviting an
audience along on an important journey that entertains while expanding
empathy.
But by grace and goodness! This short film did all that and more for me.
Grace,
written and directed by Anna Rodgers, is the eponymous story of a young
woman testing the limits of her autonomy and expanding its edges. Grace
has Down Syndrome and stays in an assisted living home, though the
opening scene is of Grace sitting at the table in her family home. Her
infant niece is placed in a high chair near her and while the two of
them quietly spend time in each other's company, Grace's sister and
mother are busily planning the sister's wedding in the background. Due
to a mastery of acting, editing, and dialogue we quickly understand that
Grace has a boyfriend, is thinking of long term life with him, and
hoping to raise a family - and that this is a complication for those who
love her.
The entire film unfolds with such beautiful brilliance, quietly
inviting audiences into these moments. I hardly knew where my space
ended and Grace's began.
Grace, played with subtle perfection by actress Fiadhnait Canning, is
the sort of hero I crave in my stories. She is clear about what she
wants, thoughtful toward people along the way, and courageous enough to
insist on a life that is hers without being unreasonably self-centered.
Everyone in this film is beautiful. I sometimes tease media for all
the beautiful people, but this is a film that gets it right. Yes,
everyone is attractively lit and has an appearance that is lovely to
look at, but more than that, it is the beauty of their character we are
watching. The crux of the matter for each person in Grace's orbit - her
carers, her boyfriend, her mother - is they care about her and feel a
sense of obligation because of it. These people are all invested, they
all care, but it is inside our caring we most struggle to agree on
actions.
While watching this twenty-five minute film I hardly spoke. For me,
this is unusual. My poor soulmate almost always has to endure the joy I
get in treating all media as an interactive activity, my desire to
follow a thought or add my two cents. To say, "this reminds me of the
time..." or "that's what I was saying yesterday..." or "can you imagine?
What would you do if..."
But while watching Grace's story unfold, I was mesmerized, drawn in.
It was only later all those thoughts came tumbling out.
A "this reminds me of the time..." thought I shared with my love:
there was a lesbian couple with Down Syndrome who were regulars at the
donut shop I worked at when I was a teen (1990). They were comfortable
displaying their love in public, taking turns buying each other coffee,
holding hands and giving each other little kisses, and they told me they
liked the home they lived in but not the rules. They could not sleep in
the same room and were considering getting their own apartment, but
were consistently being told they could not.
A "that's like what I was saying yesterday..." moment sparked for me
during a scene where residents are taking part in a class where the
speaker asks them to practice saying no. Encouraged to role play,
they're given a scenario where they are asked out on a date and they do
not want to go. Grace and a male resident play the part with fun and
flair. The man asks Grace out, she says no, he asks again, she again
says no - no anger or apology, and we are reminded it is a skill worth
practicing. Saying no. No explanation needed, just a knowledge that it
is your right and responsibility.
I loved this scene so much! For people with disabilities this is such
a valuable skill to both learn and practice. They are often at the
mercy of carers, told they must comply for their own good and safety,
and are not often enough given space to practice the skill of knowing
when they aren't safer or expected to comply, or how to handle those
moments.
Yet, it's true that we all need this space, for learning and
practicing. For knowing how to comfortably and confidently say no. For
knowing when complying is for our good and/or our safety and for knowing
when it is not.
A "can you imagine? What would you do if..." moment for me was toward
the end, when Grace is in the place of drastic decision making - I so
badly don't want to spoil anything so suffice it to say, she and
everyone who cares about her find themselves in a life-altering
situation that needs to be addressed, yet all the players have different
strongly held opinions, and every opinion is expressed with perceptive
insight. What would I do? If I was Grace, if I was Grace's mom, if I was
Grace's boyfriend? How would I step up? I don't have one clear answer,
though I know which way I lean.
In my opinion this is not only a beautiful film, wonderfully executed, but a necessary one.
On a personal note: My mom raised eight of us kids. My four adopted
brothers were on the autism spectrum, and she fought for them to be seen
the way I feel the filmmakers see Grace: as someone with capabilities,
requiring somewhat personalized teaching, and deserving of autonomy.
When I was growing up, mom was always fighting that fight. It was messy, heartbreaking, but ultimately victorious.
For me, watching this film felt like being given the gift of knowing
mom's fight was not hers alone, it was known and understood by others.
But this film also felt lovely. Something that was lacking
in the extremeness of my mom's fight for my brothers' rights, the loud
clashing, the wild highs and lows, when I was growing up.
No, not lacking, simply harder to see.
On another personal note: I needed this. I needed this bit of Grace.
I suspect many of you do, too.
One last thought:
Grace is all of us. She is born into a preexisting system, as she
grows people who love her find additional systems of support meant not
for her for but for "people like her", she is encouraged to seek some
independence and skills but as her adulthood blossoms, as she blossoms,
she must navigate the world by deciding who she is, what she wants,
which supports to break free from.
It is a powerful time in all our lives. Particularly, that first time.
One we hope to do with Grace.
*It was not lost on me that while my love and I were laying
comfortably in our big bed, we were watching Grace fight for her right
to lay in one with her boyfriend.
