Monday, October 24, 2016

Autism Answer: Any Good Narcissist (Making My Bad Days Good For Me)

My oldest son; contemplating. www.fourbrothersoneworld.com

Yesterday was unusual; I felt curiously worthless. Today is far more common; I'm happily aware of my worth and comfortable. But because of yesterday, I'm also filled with purpose. I'm picking up a few pieces of me that I had been ignoring and avoiding. Yesterday was unusual, but I'm making sure it wasn't useless. 

We all have rough days. We all have days where we feel down about ourselves or uncertain of our value. Those days are likely more about our hormones or lack of sleep or a brain with too much delta where there should be beta, and less about who we are holistically. We can choose to "get through" those days, or take advantage of them. [The link I included with the delta/beta bit goes to Brain & Body, The Brain Broad's site that shares a bit more about neurofeedback and teaching our brains to change our lives.]

When I'm having an "I suck" day, my brain (as it is set up to do) looks for proof. Now, I have to be careful because generally that proof is bogus. But always it also points to something I've been ignoring, procrastination, avoiding, or simply wondering about; in or of myself or my life. 

So rather than just "getting through" the rough days, I try to use them. Like any good narcissist I make it all about me and my needs. tee hee!

I believe that yesterday was unusual because I respect and learn from my yesterdays. I make intentional decisions and clever deductions. I allow my brain to show me some of the proof for my worthlessness and then I purposely prove otherwise. 

No one is worthless. No one. I believe that so completely it then becomes easy to prove myself useful and of value. Even immediately after a rough day where my hormones or air pollution or lack of sleep made me feel otherwise. 

I encourage you to believe in the absolute value of everyone! It makes caring for yourself and others quite easy. Suddenly even the roughest days and strangest people have absolute worth absolutely worth seeking!

Yesterday was unusual; I felt curiously worthless. Today is far more common; I'm happily aware of my worth and comfortable. But because of yesterday, I'm also filled with purpose.

And the first thing I purposely wanted to do was share this with you!!

Thank you for being here, friends!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

*Author's Note: Please understand that I know narcissism is dangerous and not at all the same as putting yourself and your worth at the forefront of self discovery and self love. Narcissists don't practice caring about themselves or others. They care about power, winning, attention, etc. I was playful with the word in this post because sometimes people who do actively care about others and themselves worry about being self-centered or narcissistic. I think, though, that if we find ourselves caring about ourselves and others in a purposefully balanced way, we have proven we are not narcissistic. I'm not a doctor or diagnostician, just a mom and a writer and a thoughtful thinker, but there it is. One of my thoughts. Hugs!!