Autism Answer: Activists And Advocates At Home

Me with my boys

Fellow advocates, 

How cool is this? 

We explore our authentic selves and true beliefs, we do the work of simply living those discoveries (although, because we are the type to live differently, it's not always simple) and in this way we are taking action and advocating for what we want! 

And because we're filling our minds with discovery and execution, we aren't overly focusing on anger or dispute. It is our habit to seek revelation and perspective in clashing ideas or opinions. When we speak out it's generally to inform, share, understand, question, consider, and give voice to the unique experiences we share. Though, the more we speak out and connect with fellow advocates, the more we see our experiences aren't entirely unique.

We are on the front lines when we proclaim: "I insist on the freedom to live life my way and to allow my loved ones to do the same," and by working to do that. Turning off the sounds and soundbites of society so we can truly know what it means to live free and organically is a bold move that creates change. The courageous, clever, bold move of activists and world-changers. Us.

Let's remind each other now and then, when we are feeling as though we don't do enough or as if we are avoiding the hard work of making things happen, that the important role of living congruent with our beliefs and expectations, teaching our loved ones to do the same, is the advocacy (and even civil disobedience) that our world needs; equal to any other.
 

Thank you, fellow advocates and activists, for supporting me by being you.

Let's keep up the good work!!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

~Tsara
Writer & Coffee Sipper
Activist  
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

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*If you'd like to read more thoughts and stories grab yourself (and a friend!) a copy of my book, Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself: A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up. It's the kind of book that you can pick up and read at random and - as the author, I really hope this part is true - feel a connection, support, or new idea begin to blossom. But even if it doesn't do that it will for sure give you a peek into the life of a girl growing up surrounded by diversity, challenge, and a stubborn habit of finding something wonderful in every seemingly small moment. A stubborn habit that often annoys my family but always gives us a gift, too. Even if that gift is annoying my family. tee hee!

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere161957.html

Autism Answer: Talk About Big Issues With Your Children (not at them) #BlackLivesMatter

Author's Note: Now, and always, there are big things happening in our communities and in our world. Sometimes, those big things hit close to home, or are brought home, and we wonder how to discuss them with our kids. I like discussing things with my kids, I also like discussing things with you. So, feel free to share your own thoughts with me on my Facebook Page. Hugs!! ~Tsara

My son called me last night after getting off of work early. There seemed to be only a trickle of customers due to the large number of "police with big guns and protesters stopping traffic." And so we had a passionate and illuminating discussion about the race issue, police policy and accountability, and #BlackLivesMatter. 

It was fantastic! We shared, considered, reflected, suggested.... and more. As you know, my family is almost unbelievably colorful (seeing us walk down the street kinda looks like a transparent ad for diversity, except not all of us dress well enough!) so the race issue hits home. It's something we talk about, think about, and evolve on in our home and with our friends.

Yet we didn't truly discuss the recent uproar and protests in depth until my son asked by way of bringing it up in an obviously interested way. 

It's important to talk about sex, equality, freedom and other "big" issues with our kids. And it's also important to respect their interest and ability to understand. My youngest son (who is mixed race) has been asking and learning about racism and privilege since a young age. Because he's experienced and wanted to understand it all. My oldest son didn't learn much about it until he was in eighth grade and people were calling him a terrorist.

However, importantly, I've always been open to discussing anything with my boys. Mostly it's Family Guy, movies, dance moves, and favorite foods. But sometimes it's rape, bullying, prejudice, climate change, sexuality, mental health--theses are just a few of the topics I comfortably discussed. And because a discussion is not me telling them what to think or believe, but rather an exploration of what we've experienced and a sharing of ideas, it's pretty easy to keep it appropriate to each child.

Although I do also believe in stretching the edges just a bit, so that we can continue to grow and feel comfortable doing so. 

So, if you're wondering how to talk about Michael Brown and Ferguson, Bill Cosby and allegations, Robin Williams and suicide, New York and Eric Garner, Uganda's Anti Homosexuality Bill and the reality of prejudice around the world,  or any other topical and important "big" issue with your kiddos, autistic or not, I suggest letting them lead you regarding their ability to understand, while you play a bit on the edges.

And always be open to more questions and discussions. 

And always be willing to listen as well as tell. 

We can (and I believe should) talk about these issues (and more) will all of our children. It's a beautiful way to connect while practicing the important skill of thoughtful introspection. 

It's not just practice for our kids, but practice for ourselves.

Talking about big issues with my children, rather than at them, has been one of the greatest gifts they've given me. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

A Portion of my colorful family.
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Warning: If you choose to encourage candid conversation and a brave interest in the world with your children, it's likely that you'll be stared at and verbally abused by strangers. But, you know what? It's worth it!! Hugs!!!!