This review was originally written for and published at DisabledWorld.com
Grace, film capture: actors Fiadhnait Canning (right) and Luca Malocco Mulville (left)
My soulmate and I crawled into our big bed, the back elevated to perfect film watching position, and snuggled toward each other*. Within moments we were swept into Grace - a short film that felt effortlessly beautiful and moving.
The operative word there is "felt".
There is nothing effortless about telling a story well, casting a film perfectly, lighting scenes flawlessly, meaningfully inviting an audience along on an important journey that entertains while expanding empathy.
But by grace and goodness! This short film did all that and more for me.
Grace, written and directed by Anna Rodgers, is the eponymous story of a young woman testing the limits of her autonomy and expanding its edges. Grace has Down Syndrome and stays in an assisted living home, though the opening scene is of Grace sitting at the table in her family home. Her infant niece is placed in a high chair near her and while the two of them quietly spend time in each other's company, Grace's sister and mother are busily planning the sister's wedding in the background. Due to a mastery of acting, editing, and dialogue we quickly understand that Grace has a boyfriend, is thinking of long term life with him, and hoping to raise a family - and that this is a complication for those who love her.
The entire film unfolds with such beautiful brilliance, quietly inviting audiences into these moments. I hardly knew where my space ended and Grace's began.
Grace, played with subtle perfection by actress Fiadhnait Canning, is the sort of hero I crave in my stories. She is clear about what she wants, thoughtful toward people along the way, and courageous enough to insist on a life that is hers without being unreasonably self-centered.
Everyone in this film is beautiful. I sometimes tease media for all the beautiful people, but this is a film that gets it right. Yes, everyone is attractively lit and has an appearance that is lovely to look at, but more than that, it is the beauty of their character we are watching. The crux of the matter for each person in Grace's orbit - her carers, her boyfriend, her mother - is they care about her and feel a sense of obligation because of it. These people are all invested, they all care, but it is inside our caring we most struggle to agree on actions.
While watching this twenty-five minute film I hardly spoke. For me, this is unusual. My poor soulmate almost always has to endure the joy I get in treating all media as an interactive activity, my desire to follow a thought or add my two cents. To say, "this reminds me of the time..." or "that's what I was saying yesterday..." or "can you imagine? What would you do if..."
But while watching Grace's story unfold, I was mesmerized, drawn in.
It was only later all those thoughts came tumbling out.
A "this reminds me of the time..." thought I shared with my love: there was a lesbian couple with Down Syndrome who were regulars at the donut shop I worked at when I was a teen (1990). They were comfortable displaying their love in public, taking turns buying each other coffee, holding hands and giving each other little kisses, and they told me they liked the home they lived in but not the rules. They could not sleep in the same room and were considering getting their own apartment, but were consistently being told they could not.
A "that's like what I was saying yesterday..." moment sparked for me during a scene where residents are taking part in a class where the speaker asks them to practice saying no. Encouraged to role play, they're given a scenario where they are asked out on a date and they do not want to go. Grace and a male resident play the part with fun and flair. The man asks Grace out, she says no, he asks again, she again says no - no anger or apology, and we are reminded it is a skill worth practicing. Saying no. No explanation needed, just a knowledge that it is your right and responsibility.
I loved this scene so much! For people with disabilities this is such a valuable skill to both learn and practice. They are often at the mercy of carers, told they must comply for their own good and safety, and are not often enough given space to practice the skill of knowing when they aren't safer or expected to comply, or how to handle those moments.
Yet, it's true that we all need this space, for learning and practicing. For knowing how to comfortably and confidently say no. For knowing when complying is for our good and/or our safety and for knowing when it is not.
A "can you imagine? What would you do if..." moment for me was toward the end, when Grace is in the place of drastic decision making - I so badly don't want to spoil anything so suffice it to say, she and everyone who cares about her find themselves in a life-altering situation that needs to be addressed, yet all the players have different strongly held opinions, and every opinion is expressed with perceptive insight. What would I do? If I was Grace, if I was Grace's mom, if I was Grace's boyfriend? How would I step up? I don't have one clear answer, though I know which way I lean.
In my opinion this is not only a beautiful film, wonderfully executed, but a necessary one.
On a personal note: My mom raised eight of us kids. My four adopted brothers were on the autism spectrum, and she fought for them to be seen the way I feel the filmmakers see Grace: as someone with capabilities, requiring somewhat personalized teaching, and deserving of autonomy.
When I was growing up, mom was always fighting that fight. It was messy, heartbreaking, but ultimately victorious.
For me, watching this film felt like being given the gift of knowing mom's fight was not hers alone, it was known and understood by others.
But this film also felt lovely. Something that was lacking in the extremeness of my mom's fight for my brothers' rights, the loud clashing, the wild highs and lows, when I was growing up.
No, not lacking, simply harder to see.
On another personal note: I needed this. I needed this bit of Grace.
I suspect many of you do, too.
One last thought:
Grace is all of us. She is born into a preexisting system, as she grows people who love her find additional systems of support meant not for her for but for "people like her", she is encouraged to seek some independence and skills but as her adulthood blossoms, as she blossoms, she must navigate the world by deciding who she is, what she wants, which supports to break free from.
It is a powerful time in all our lives. Particularly, that first time.
One we hope to do with Grace.
*It was not lost on me that while my love and I were laying comfortably in our big bed, we were watching Grace fight for her right to lay in one with her boyfriend.
