Autism Answer: A Book For The Leader You Are (willingly or not)

 

 

The Seven Senses of Leadership by Lynette Louise

 

You are in a Leadership position. Regardless of whether or not you've done this purposefully, you are. Not always, not everywhere maybe, but sometimes and in certain places, you are. I offer you my congratulations and my condolences, whichever you feel are warranted. ;D 

 

Now, obviously I can't help you get more or less Leadership responsibilities, but I can point you to a book that will help you always take on the role with purpose and even pride. This book will also help you choose your Leaders with deeper knowledge and intention. 

 

The Leadership we offer and the Leadership we choose is kind of a big deal, whether or not we decide to engage with it vigorously. The older I get (I'm finally 50!) the clearer it becomes that this stuff will not only affect me - whether I want it to or not - but it will affect my children, grandchildren (at the moment I have 5 of them!), great-grandchildren, etc. 

 

I'm not talking about political Leaders, but I'm not not talking about them either. They have so much power! But they are born out of and influenced by all the Leadership that surrounds us. Parents, educators, caregivers, friends, writers, creators, on and on and on. The way we step up, the choices we make as learners, purchasers, parents, teachers, content publishers, creators, voters, we are all in positions of power. 

Unfortunately the publishing company that originally released my mom's book The Seven Senses of Leadership has disappeared and the paperback is no longer available through them. 

 

Fortunately, my mom asked me to help her release the title as an eBook via Amazon Kindle - and though I confess the formatting is still less than stellar it is now available! 

 

The book is phenomenal. It is short, smart, compassionate, inclusive, and often times funny. If you are able, please read and review: The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad's Guide to Leadership Sensibilities

 

 

"What you believe changes what you see. [...] If you want to control how you see the world, this is good news because you can do one of two things: You can change your physiology or you can change your psychology. Both are possible and either one will change the other." ~Dr. Lynette Louise ("The Brain Broad"), The Seven Senses of Leadership

 

Additionally: My mom will be speaking again at the Annual Leadership Summit America in Albany, New York - March 20 - 21 2025. The summit features top-tier speakers and offers attendees the chance to network and grow their leadership skills in an immersive environment. Follow this link to learn more: Internationally Renowned Brain Expert Lynette Louise, The Brain Broad, to Speak at Leadership Summit America

 

Our world is wonderful. But it is made more wonderful when people Lead well. When people choose their Leaders well. When people are aware and purposeful in their Leadership relationships. 

 

Whether by reading the book, attending the summit, or both, there are excellent tools to reach for!

 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!! 

Tsara Shelton (X.com)

Book Review: The Way of Men by Jack Donovan

 

 

Even before I became a mother to boys, I was unexplainably curious about what it meant to be a good man. No, that's not quite right. I was curious about what it meant to try to be a good man, to contemplate it and to make choices in pursuit of it, to wrestle with those questions as boys becoming men. 

I don't know why I was so interested in the quest for manhood. I was (and am) a girl. A girl who was (and is) quite happy being a girl. More than happy since my ultimate dream has always been to be a mom.

Eventually I become a mother. And as luck would have it, I am the mother of four boys. Boys who have (and still do) wrestle with the questions of manhood. 

My interest in the subject of being a good man, and being good at being a man, obviously increased.

This book then, The Way of Men, hits that nail on the head.

That's not to say I considered it the answer to my questions, but certainly it explored the theme and explored it well. 

In the preface the author, Jack Donovan, claims the book is his answer to the question: "What is masculinity?"

I think the book does a good job of examining that question. It is straight forward, thought provoking, ballsy, interesting, often funny, and powerful. It offered ideas I don't think I would have imagined on my own. 

By stripping away much of the mess we make in creating civilization Jack Donovan boils things down to their basic elements; to the core of men and the nature of them. I appreciate that he doesn't stop there, though. He admits that he likes - believes in - an element of civilizing and ease of living. He believes in seeking a healthy balance, for the sake of men and masculinity. He explores civilizations and the dangers they often present to The Way of Men; he also offers suggestions and warns us of the harm in not making necessary shifts. 

I like, too, that he separates the ideas of "Being a Good Man" and "Being Good at Being a Man". Throughout my life I have been curious about the plight of being a good man, but it hadn't occurred to me that being a good man and being good at being a man could be two different things. By looking at them separately, I felt invigorated and armed with a clearer way of understanding people.

The Way of Men came to several conclusions I for sure don't agree with (and a few I was devastated by) but it also laid out some well constructed concepts I think are important.

This isn't a book I'm compelled to run around recommending but I wouldn't avoid suggesting it either. 

If it calls to you and you do read it, I recommend reading it with a willingness to consider the ideas presented without prejudice, while also remembering to examine them as ideas, not ultimate truths. 

So much of this book is of value. All of it is of interest and valid. And even though I strongly want to push back on a fair bit of it I also can't deny the necessity of considering it as a whole.

Part of me wishes I had read it when my sons were still small, but part of me is glad I didn't. I'm not confident that the me I was back then would have been aware of the aspects I think need to be reconsidered, re-imagined, or simply thrown out.

Of course, the me I am going to be several years from now will probably have such different things to think about everything, including this book. 

Oh, life. How you unceasingly seem to evolve me. 

 

Thank you for offering me literature that helps me influence that evolution. (Such is The Way of Reading).

Hugs, smiles, and love!

Tsara Shelton (X.com)

Book Review: Left Neglected by Lisa Genova

 

 

Left Neglected

Book: Left Neglected
Author: Lisa Genova
Publish date: July 2011
Paperback Pages: 352

 

I didn’t think my mom was lying exactly. It’s just – I don’t know, I couldn’t fathom it. I mean, she couldn’t see anything on her left? Only on her left?

My mom’s left hemisphere neglect – the result of an injury to the right hemisphere of her brain (she hit her head hard while working in Paris) - was short lived and minimally disabling, in part because mom is a brain and behavior expert with the skills, tools, and knowledge of how to help herself immediately.¹  Due to my mom’s ability to turn things around and make good use of them, it became like so many things happening to my mom: something that makes her seem weird while giving her a deeper knowledge and understanding of brain and behavior.

However, for so many others (including Sarah, the main character in Left Neglected) it is far more life changing and challenging.

Left Neglected is the second novel by Lisa Genova, author of Still Alice. Both books center on super successful women who are compelled to re-frame their own versions of success when confronted with neurological dysfunctions.

In Still Alice, the dysfunction is early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. 

For Sarah in Left Neglected it is left neglect, an arguably less famous but still significant condition.

The novel begins by dropping readers into the non-stop chaos of Sarah’s home and work life. Both Sarah and her husband, Bob, are competitive high achievers. They have three adorable children (I fell in love with them instantly!) and their oldest – a first grader – is struggling both at school and at home to follow directions and complete assignments. With both parents working all hours and paying for two homes they are blessed to also have the help of a twenty-two-year-old nanny, Abby. She lives ten minutes away, has a degree in psychology, and adores the children. 

The pace of their life, of the story, of Sarah’s inner dialogue, is go go go. There is always something needing to be done, someone needing to be delegated to do it, and goals to keep an eye on. It is hurried, but not unhappy. The group works well as a team and though they rarely take a moment to enjoy it, they are enjoying it. It fits into the dream they have for their lives.

However, Sarah is in an accident on her way to work and wakes up missing the entire left side of her vision. She cannot see or attend to anything on her left. The speed with which she moved through her life is no longer available to her.

It is hard to describe what it’s like to have left neglect. In Sarah’s experience (as in my mom’s) she thinks she’s seeing everything. Everything appears whole to her, yet she is consistently unable to see, feel, or attend to the left. For example, she’ll finish eating all the food on her plate, be certain it is all gone, yet everything on the left remains. She is not seeing it, but she also cannot recognize that she is not seeing it. Walking and dressing are nearly impossible at first because her left side does not exist for her. It isn’t paralyzed, it isn’t missing, it just isn’t.

In therapy she practices focusing on moving, seeing, feeling, and being aware of the left. These descriptions are fascinating and hard to hold onto. As a reader I both could and could not quite understand. Which, of course, is true of trying to understand anything completely foreign to our experience.

As the story goes on, now hindered by Sarah’s inability to see the left, we slow down. (Though Sarah does not do so easily! As in keeping with her character she plans to beat this thing; to impress everyone with her ability to win therapy.) In slowing down we see new things. Sarah’s mom reenters her life and it is a turbulent reunion. Sarah has anger toward her mother for not being available to her as she grew up. She struggles to allow her to be there for her now.

Sarah’s hardships inspire a new kind of connection with her oldest son, and together they discover creative ideas for their challenges with homework and reading.

Sarah’s internal debates about being handicapped are candid. At first, she refuses to accept herself as a disabled person. She feels certain that she can push and work her way out.

Hence, as adaptations are presented, she wrestles with the question of whether it is giving up to accept tools designed to assist her as a disabled person. Is it giving up to snowboard with assistance when she really wants to ski without it? Will she become complacent? Will she stop insisting on healing?

Lucky for us she chooses to accept the opportunities offered by the New England Handicapped Sports Association (NEHSA)² – a real organization – and we go snowboarding. Sarah’s world becomes bigger.

With this new movement, this new momentum and adaptations, Sarah sees a new idea for a different life that might suit her and her family well.

The book does a lovely (though not exactly subtle) job of reminding readers that many of us are voluntarily neglecting entire aspects of our own lives, for a variety of reasons in a variety of ways.

Because of Sarah’s brain trauma she gains a new beautiful relationship with her mom, she finds time and meaningful ways to be with her children, she accepts employment that feels holistically fulfilling. She does not judge the life she was living before, and indeed misses elements of it. However, by adapting she has also created something more suitable and sustainable for her family.

It is a nice reminder that we can be proud of who we were even when we choose to be someone new, evolving and progressing does not have to include disliking or disapproving of the past.

Left Neglected is a good book with a lovely message: that left neglect is a real thing so maybe my mom wasn’t making it up when she said she couldn’t see anything on the left.

(Hmmmm? Pardon me? I see, I’m being handed a note that tells me my mom was not, in fact, the moral of the story. I will rewrite that.)

Left Neglected is a good book with a lovely message: that a single moment can derail everything you’re becoming but if you do the work of adapting, if you do not neglect the opportunities and people around you, life can become a different yet equal success.

 

1.    If you are interested in my mom’s work as a brain and behavior expert, or simply curious about such a weird and wonderful mom of eight, you can visit her websites to see books, videos, and so much more, here: www.lynettelouise.com / www.brainbody.net

2.   To learn more about the New England Handicapped Sports Association you can visit their website by following this link: https://nehsa.org/

 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: Inclusion - My Brother, Dar

*This originally appeared in the May edition of my mom's newsletter, The Loop!*

 

 

My brother, Dar

 

 

The book my mom wrote with and about Teressa (a woman in California diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder) includes so many interesting personalities.

 

Some speak from beyond the grave. Some speak from holy text. Some speak from within the fractures of Teressa herself.

 

One personality remains steadfast and supportive, often at mom's side, and it is that personality I want to draw attention to: my brother, Dar.

 

During the course of writing this book and living on Teressa's property, Dar and mom have worked together. Dar's lack of words has never equaled lack of communication, and in this memoir he speaks clearly. He steps back when people need mom to focus on them, he reaches out when they need a light touch, he is a sounding board for mom as she works to illuminate issues and consider moral conundrums. He is there to hug her when she cries and then to remind her of her strength.

 

The way my mom and Dar work together is a hard core real life example of the power of inclusion.

 

Inclusion is a collaboration.

 

It is not: put your own needs aside, move over and make accommodations.  

It is not: fit in, don't show up if it's going to inconvenience others in order to assist you.

Inclusion is collaborating to accommodate and assist each other in the direction of a common goal: living our full lives.

When you read In Search of Teressa you will feel the power of that collaboration.

 

And you will be rewarded.

 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

 

 

My mom and my brother, Dar

 

 

You can see all of my mom's books, including the one I am referring to in this post, on her websites: 

 

www.lynettelouise.com 

www.brainbody.net  

 

Book Review: In Search of Teressa: A Journey Into The Mind Of A Woman With Many Personalities by Lynette Louise

 

 

Background: My mom wrote this book. Actually, she talked this book into audio recordings, sent them to me to transcribe, then read it to Teressa who made a few clarification requests, then made those changes and sent it to all the people talked about in the book for their thoughts and requests, then made changes, then allowed an editor and publisher to play with it, then helped design a cover, and then it was published. But, ya. My mom wrote this book.:D

My mom has been writing since my earliest memories (hers, too). She writes poetry, songs, academic abstracts and articles, books, shows, theater, and comedy shows. Almost always her stories are created with the intention to inspire and teach, to learn and grow, to surprise and submit uncommon perspectives. Almost always she writes stories based on her own life and those of us closest to her.

This new book is her first written through the lens of someone else’s life and memories.

In partnership with Teressa, a woman who has been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and has been suspected as having anywhere between twelve and twenty-three alters (alternate personalities), In Search of Teressa is written in two parts. 

The first part describes Teressa's memories. Her childhood, her life as a wife and mother, her attempts at creating and discovering herself as a woman via retreats, counseling, and religion. It is written from Teressa's point of view, from her idea of how it was and what was done. There is a childhood of malnutrition, alcoholism, physical illnesses, and memory loss. There is an adulthood with murder, true love, family vacations, and alters.

Her story is not told chronologically, and actually begins with the murder of her adult daughter. As readers bounce back and forth from Teressa’s later years to her early years and back again, it is reminiscent of how Teressa’s life is lived in her mind. A continuous bringing to the present slights from her past.

The second part of the book is my mom's story, alongside Teressa. It includes my brother, Dar, who is autistic and almost always at her side. My grandchildren are there. Mom interviews the people in Teressa's life and they are mostly accommodating. 

During mom's first meeting with Teressa's brother he sits in the sunshine outside of the house with the door open while mom and Teressa sit inside. It was during the COVID-19 lock-down and I suppose accommodations were the norm, yet it is a memorable scene: socially distancing siblings discussing a childhood of playing dick detective (hiding in the backseat of their drunk dad's car to see if he cheated on mom, per mom's orders), sharing one onion between them and feeling tangible guilt over not sharing with the other children, putting poop in the backyard cesspool due to broken pluming, and so many other memories. Often their memories would match in terms of what happened. Often, though, they would disagree on the reasons, the meaning, the why or message of the memories. 

My mom is an international brain and behavior expert so she is qualified to understand what is going on in the brain and how it is influenced by the people guiding it as well as by the body it is in. The hormones and chemicals as well as the story it is being told. This second part of the book is the piecing together of Teressa's truth as mom helps her find the path to becoming one unique person.

There are many parallels in the lives of both my mom and Teressa, yet the people they become have stark differences. This is something that shines throughout the book. The hand we can play in creating ourselves even as we are not in control of all the elements.

By the end of book two my mom and Teressa have made giant strides toward a unified Teressa, a happy Teressa, and made plans for ever more growth. Along the way, readers learn much about how memory works, how we are building ourselves with the beliefs we hold, how we can take advantage of the brain’s plasticity for our own benefit by purposely changing certain behaviors, and how we can be kinder to each other without being so supportive we push our loved ones deeper into unhealthy mental states.

 The entire book is fantastic. It is engaging and informative. It is poetic and scientific. It answers and asks. It is a story that makes us question our own memories as it tells us how to remember.

I highly recommend this one! 

Follow this link to view the book on Amazon: In Search of Teressa 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)