Autism Answer: My Only Excuse For Not Doing The Work Was Fear - My Interview With Mom

I stared at the invitation for possibly thirty seconds while a whirlwind of unexpected hopes and worries blurred my vision.


It was a surprise from several angles. 

I had never considered interviewing my mom for, well, for anything. My blog, my YouTube channel, articles I submit for publication, none of them, even though I actively submit the suggestion of an interview with my mom all the time! I research contact info, compose emails, fill out forms, and I'm always thrilled when my interview suggestion is accepted and acted upon. I'm not only thrilled because it's generally a thrill to have a suggestion accepted, but also for my mom who learns more about what she knows by answering questions, for a new audience who will be introduced to her insight and work, and for the interviewer whose questions will be thoughtfully considered and intriguingly answered. 

And yet, funnily, until the quick reply from an editor at Women Writers, Women's Books to my interview suggestion turned things around by suggesting I do the interview, I hadn't thought to take that gift for myself.  

And now that the invitation was here, I sat in stunned appreciation and explored the previously unknown feelings I had about such a project. 

I admit, my first feeling was of having been complimented. This editor - whom I had emailed back and forth with a few times - thought I might have the skill for it! Secondly, I got scared. What if I don't have the skill for it? Dude, I am not a fan of letting people down or exposing their mistaken confidence in me. Thirdly, I hoped I might have the skill for it. A good interview requires several things. An interesting guest, for one. I knew I had that. My mom - like her creative work - is compelling, down-to-earth, inspirational, poetic, clear, inclusive, and candid. But a good interview also requires questions that simultaneously encourage the guest to shine while caring about relevance for the intended audience.  

A good interview brings everyone in and, often, guides revelations that change us all in the process. 

My respect for a gifted interviewer was seeded for me as an audience member but blossomed when I became a guest. The difference I felt when asked questions by someone who clearly cared for me, themselves, and their audience vs someone merely looking for content blew me away. It has happened for me several times now and, though I always reflect and dig deep for honest answers to interview questions, I am invigorated and surprised by the ones that are careful and relevant. The experience consistently leaves me breathless and aware of myself and my world in new ways. 

So -

Did I have the skill for something like that?

This thought led me to a fourth feeling; it would take work. I mean, complimented as I was, I would have to hunker down and consider everyone and do the work. That's a big task when you're afraid you don't have the skill.

But, fifth, what an opportunity! To see if I have the skill, to ask my mom questions, to introduce her to a new audience, to be part of the Women Writers, Women's Books community in this more active way, the only excuse for not doing the work is fear. 

What kind of example is that for my sons? My granddaughters?

And so, I did it. I accepted the invitation. I crafted questions I felt brought all of us to the table and would encourage growth, new ideas. 

I was nervous sending them to my mom. (She claims to have loved the questions but, you know, she's my mom.) 

I was nervous sending them to the editor. (She claims the interview is insightful but, you know, the interviewee is my mom.)

But it was invigorating and fun. It was an opportunity I plan to give myself again soon. 

And I was a good example to my sons and my granddaughters. Not that they're watching. Yet, we are all always watching. 

I owe a great big dose of gratitude to the editor that offered me the chance to learn all this. Oh, I know she was likely overwhelmed and overworked and unlikely thinking about me or my skills, but isn't that the way so many of us get what we didn't know we wanted? Someone could use our help doing a thing we hope they'll do and suddenly we're doing it together. 

And suddenly we're discovering a new skill or interest. 

Let's not be shy about accepting new opportunities that match a desire we have or a goal we're after, and let's not be shy about offering them. 

We never know when we might be ready for something new. 

Read, enjoy, and share my interview with mom here: Interview with Dr. Lynette Louise ("The Brain Broad")

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

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Be sure to check out all of the other interviews, blog posts, and books on the Women Writers, Women's Books website while you're there! My mom wrote this post for them a while back: Writing is my Lifestyle 

Autism Answer: An Author Interview And An Internet Crush

I feel so bloody honored every time I'm invited to do an author interview.

With each publication or podcast my honor is authentic and my appreciation of another new and different audience to share ideas with effects the mood of my joy and the focus of my interview answers. Different audiences mean different parts of life get to be explored.

Each time, I want to sing and dance and appreciate a universe that accepts me as a writer and introduces me to passionate thoughtful others I can learn from. 

My interview at Books for the Soul was no exception. I love the literature that is highlighted there, and the thoughtful nature with which it is reviewed, interpreted, and shared. I have a small internet crush on, Bianca Salvant, the gorgeous woman who runs the site. So being interviewed by her, for her audience, was a high point of my 2016!

When I received her interview questions my heart quickened and I felt my online crush grow almost heavy. Her questions were thoughtful. They revealed a host who cares, considers, and knows how to invite deep conversation. I felt a thick desire to return that thoughtfulness with my own brand of the same. So I dug deep and answered honestly. And boy, did I answer! (I think I sent her seven pages worth of answers!)

I swooned ever more when I saw how thoughtfully she edited the interview! Caring for her audience, caring for her online space, and caring for her guest, me, she turned my seven pages into something with shape and appropriate length. Editing is an underappreciated form of creation. I am not skilled, at all, in that area. But, boy, do I appreciate and value folks who are! And Bianca had her work cut out for her when I flooded her inbox with my interview answers!! Her questions were just so darn great! I couldn't help but tell her more and more and more of the things they were helping me learn about myself and our world! Yet somehow she managed to whittle it down, holding the shape of my thoughts while keeping it relevant to her audience. It is beautiful! 

Please, read the interview here, and then give yourself a gift. Spend some time reading more of her essays and reviews. Be sure to like the Books for the Soul Facebook Page and follow Bianca on Twitter. 

Interview: Tsara Shelton On Women Taking Accountability For Rape, Raising Colorful Boys and More

And if you are a writer of literature, consider reaching out to Bianca for a review and an interview. She is uniquely able to be candid and kind. She will help you know your work, and yourself, in a new way.

You may even get a teeny tiny internet crush on her. 

But, stop it. I saw her first! 

tee hee!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: Honored and Afraid - The Author Interview Series

Honored. Validated. Afraid. Excited. Vulnerable. Curious. 

These are a few of the feelings that cascaded over me when I was invited to take part in an Author Interview Series with author Mandy Eve Barnett. 

I'm an author; I'm sure of it. And yet, as with so many dreams that come true, it feels and looks different than when I imagined it as a little girl. I don't have Margaret Atwood's number in my Rolodex and I haven't been asked to sign books at bookstores or conferences. 

Some things are exactly as I imagined them. I'm broke. I've gotten wonderfully high off of kind book reviews and "fan" letters. I've also hidden away from the world in the almost physical pain of fear and self-doubt. I've lost hours of real time in a world of seemingly infinite time while writing. 

And I've answered questions, in podcasts and now in writing, about my book and myself as a writer. I've shared heavy and illusive writing hopes along with what snacks I prefer and some marketing tips. 

I'm honored. I feel validated. There's fear that I will waste your time. I'm excited to tell you more. I've stripped my reasons naked, left them vulnerable. I'm curious - what this means, what you'll think, what I'll do next. I'm curious about so many things. 

Mostly, though, I'm grateful. 
To you, to Mandy, and to myself.

I invite you to peek at the interview, my friends! Scroll down for an excerpt and a link to the full interview. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

An Author Interview? Me!? Why, yes please!!

Article Excerpt:
  

What inspired you to write your first book? 

As a little girl I wanted to be a writer and a mom when I grew up. I have four sons who have given me all the reason in the world to learn important things. Including, following up on my passions. I’ve always been writing, but I had never actually finished anything until about ten years ago. My boys were sleeping and I sat up all night writing a screenplay. It was intoxicating! I’d never wanted to write a screenplay, a novelist is how I’ve always imagined myself, so perhaps that’s why it got written so easily. I wasn’t in my own way with fears and intense desires. Anyway, writing and finishing that screenplay encouraged me to write and complete articles and short stories. One day someone commented on an article I’d written, “Collect articles into a book.” His comment was kind, but more than that, it planted the seed of an idea. Over time that seed grew into a true idea for what is now my first book, Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself: A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up.

How did you come up with the title? 
I borrowed the title from a song on my mom’s Crazy to Sane CD. In her song, Crazy to Sane, she has the lyric “spinning in circles and laughing to myself” which I’ve always liked. When I asked myself why I liked it the reason was largely visual. It’s fun to imagine! But also it’s because I find myself always learning the same lessons over and over in life, but with more experiences and bigger understanding. So I wrote an article “Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself” which sort of examples one of the big ideas I try to present in my book. As we grow up we are consistently learning from ourselves; the world offers us ideas and perspectives and we then take them inside ourselves to evaluate them. Too many of us don’t do this with enough purpose or clarity, leaving us open to eagerly—but uncomfortably—adopt the beliefs and assumptions given to us by others. However, with the vision of spinning in circles I imagine collecting images and colors from the world, but using myself as a center to discover my own interpretations. My own passions and beliefs. The subtitle is equally important to me. A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up reminds me that our lives are a collection of stories and that we have the pleasure of slowly growing them. Of telling our stories with more and more understanding and knowledge, but also of accepting that everyone is different and that their stories are equally valuable even when they are drastically different, or even opposed, to our own. Because when we look at the stories we believed about ourselves when we were young, they often are not how we would tell the story now. We often don’t agree with our old selves, and this is beautiful to remember. Because we weren’t evil or stupid or wrong when we were younger, we were just different. This can serve as a beautiful reminder not to judge others as evil or stupid or wrong. Just different.

Read More Here: Interview with Tsara Shelton on Mandy Eve Barnett's Blog