Autism Answer: My mom, the Stubbornly Hot Chick!!

Sometimes I call my mom (Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad) a "stubbornly hot chick". It makes me giggle to myself, and is a perfect label for her! I would love to share with you how apt the phrase is. 

When my mom was a little girl she wanted to be the super mommy of no less than twelve kids, be a movie star and teach the world about fairness and love. Life kind of interrupted those well laid plans. 

A still birth, hysterectomy, abusive husband to begin with. She struck back with adoption, a safe house for abused women and stand-up comedy. There were two teenage homeless girls who became my sisters. Then their families decided to step in and try to beat my mom down again. Teachers who couldn't understand my mom's consistent insistence that her disabled boys deserved creativity and caring joined the fight. My mom stepped in the ring with love, a belief in miracles, special diets, and a willingness to see people as doing their best with what they know. 

There were some along the way who encouraged her and were amazed by her as well. So she kept going. She held our hands tight as we traveled North America performing, learning and living a life full of wonder and love. She believed in our dreams and always went after her own. She has eight kids, not twelve. She isn't famous yet but has been in movies, hosted a cooking show and her international reality series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD is playing and popular on The Autism Channel. She has performed her one woman comedy show CRAZY TO SANE around the world and has released two CD's. She is the author of two amazing books. She hosts a podcast and interviews moms, professionals, celebrities and more. She travels the globe as a therapist teaching, speaking and working intimately with families of autism and other disabilities. From addiction to Parkinson's to Tourette's to depression and so much more! She examples and teaches how small attitudinal shifts, along with some creativity and a little neurofeedback, can change a life and reveal its beauty. 

She is beautiful. No matter what life throws at her, no matter how the world tries to beat her down or beg her to stop speaking her truth, she is stubbornly beautiful. And when the woman she sees in the mirror doesn't look like the vivacious, full of life and silliness woman that she is inside, she gets a little bit of work done! 

She is a stubbornly hot chick who has affected hundreds of lives with her beauty and love already, and I'm certain she will stubbornly gift hundreds more! 

So--like my mom!-- make your plans, go after your goals and if you are forever willing to adjust and re-think, you will get there! And if the picture you have of yourself in the future is some well- adjusted hot chick (or dude!) know that following your dreams makes it so! (Also, the odd buff and puff can be done along the way, if you're so inclined!)

Hugs, smiles and love!!!
Autism Answers

Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD
Neurofeedback expert, play therapist, brainiac, singer, songwriter, mom extraordinaire,
and Stubbornly Hot Chick!!

Autism Answer: Uniquely Qualified!

When my oldest son very first started kindergarten, I used to let him go to school with marker all over his face. He has always been very creative and imaginative. Plus, we were pretty broke and had few toys, so allowing him to color on us and himself was a fun way to encourage his pretend play! 

His teacher (who I saw as an expert because she had been teaching for years, and I was a young mom) took me aside one day and said sweetly,"I love the way you let Jory express himself, but the other students aren't allowed to do that in their homes so it's probably better if your son came to school without all the unique face paint." 

Aaaaaahhhhhhh.... don't let our kids be their individual selves.... I'm a slow learner but thanks to my son's kindergarten teacher, I eventually got it. ~BTW: Please note that the teacher hadn't said anything horrible, I had chosen to learn the wrong lesson! My fault, not hers!~

By the time Jory was older, and a few of his brothers were school aged as well, I was exhausted and nervous and confused and lacking any self-confidence as I busted my butt trying to make sure my kids behaved and appeared like everyone else. You know, normal. 

Well, I have four brothers who were autistic, my youngest boys have many traits of autism and my mom is a global autism therapist Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD. Growing-up in our house was always crazy and forever fun! But during those few years while I was trying so hard to make us appear 'normal', we kinda lost the fun part. 

However, it wasn't too long before I chose to see the importance of being your unique self, while also being comfortable in the world. 

Armed with this understanding I relaxed and allowed all of us to be a little bit nutty! I also included a fork-full of fitting in, a huge portion of individuality and delicious additions of sharing, learning and dream chasing! 

There are many moms and dads struggling to encourage individuality while teaching social skills, language, etc.... I am by no means alone in this! However, having four brothers who were once on the spectrum (and I'm talking everywhere on that spectrum!) and a mom who travels the world teaching and helping families of autism with humor, honesty, respect and love, made me uniquely qualified to find the fun balance between encouraging the unique and different while teaching and believing in their ability to be comfortable in the world. 

And you know what is also true? You are uniquely qualified too!!!

Hugs, smiles and love!

Autism Answer: Sexy Daydreams (or My Life is Awesome!)

My brother and I were driving and trying to find a song on the radio full of joy. We couldn't. So, I wrote this one for us!

Dar (my brother) is autistic, and his most consistent obsession is a love of schmaltzy tunes. As we were desperately searching the airwaves for something appropriately cheesy I couldn't help but notice that most of the lyrics in most of the songs were kinda lacking in anything I could truly celebrate. So....

I shut off the radio and wrote this! My brother loved it! Well... either that or he thought it was ridiculous. He was laughing the whole time. I decided to think he was happy about my song! 

Later on that day I sang it for my boys, and they loved it! I sang it for my mom and my sister, they found it fun! When I sang it for my niece she said,"That's awesome Aunt T! It's so much like you. It's your Character Song!"

I loved that so much! So now I think of it as my character song!!

Here I am, singing the song in my mom's living-room where I do a large part of my living. I'm no singer or songwriter... but I like it!!! Enjoy!

I feel sort-of silly sharing this, yet I feel it's kind of important too. Very often we forget to celebrate the everyday things. The fabulous family moments and morning coffees. Our loves and passions, our personalities and differences. And when we do celebrate, it tends to be in passing, as though they are only little things. But in truth, they are THE things! They are what all the work and chasing after success and hoping for world change is about!

I love all kinds of music--the intense and deep, the sexually charged, the lyrically stirring--but I also love the idea of more music that celebrates family and everyday magic. 

So rather than just talk about it and wish someone more talented than me would do it--and because my son has written a song that I really want him to sing and share with the world, so I figured I'd better example how easy it is to just do it!--I went ahead and pulled out my digital camera and sang my song!!

It's a little reminder to myself, my children and anyone else interested in remembering: Be the person you feel good being, unapologetically and with joy! Don't wait until it's easy or fashionable, just be! Allow others that same gift and celebrate with passion!

And, if your so inclined, a little ditty!

For more--and better!!--songs/music videos that you can celebrate, please check out my mom's music videos!! My mom is Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD--an international mental health therapist who specializes in autism. She is fantastical!!! And her music is freaking awesome!! 

Music videos and more: http://www.youtube.com/user/brentleach2k3

And even more!! http://www.youtube.com/user/lynettellouisel/videos

Autism Answer: A Lovely Kind of Crying!

I was crying a tiny bit today while driving home after dropping my boys off at school. 

It was a lovely kind of cry! 

Last night Shay--who has an obsession with going through closets, drawers, storage spaces, bottom-of-the heap suitcases and such--found an old unlabeled CD and we wondered what was on it. He needed to get some sleep (ha! That's funny....) so I promised we'd check it out in the morning. 

On the way to school he admitted,"I listened to it after you went to bed. It's a bunch of Jory's music mixes! Put it on number 2!" So, we listened to one of my oldest son's mixes as we drove, singing and bouncing like popcorn! We felt excited and overly emotional remembering Jory's first tries at editing. Mixing music together was how he discovered a passion! And we had such fun remembering! 

After dropping my two youngest boys off I decided to skip back to song #1... see what we had there. Well, here's where the crying comes in!

It was a mix of P!NK songs Jory had made me for my birthday a few years ago. He knew I loved P!NK, and so he carefully chose my favorites and mixed them together with a story line. Ending beautifully on "You're Effing Perfect" and then adding a piece of "So what, I'm a Rock Star".... today I chose to think he was telling me I'm perfect to him, and that I'll be okay when they have all grown up and left, because I'm a rock star. 

So, I sang with my gut, and I cried happy tears! I cried because my boys are growing up beautifully! I cried because they are finding their passions! I cried because I have to let them leave and become their own kind of rock stars! I cried because they really love me!

I don't cry very often, but when I do... I choose to love it!!

There are so many reasons I could have chosen a sad cry, we all have those reasons and can choose them. But I rarely do.

Autism has taught me the life skill of simply seeing beauty in every struggle. It's not always obvious, but it's always there.

"Welcome to my silly life."~P!NK

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

I thought it would be fun to share this video here, as an example of just how much my boys and I love experiencing music together! And you'll notice that we're singing a P!NK song!! Hugs!!!!

"It's not about doing things really well, it's about doing them with all of your heart!" ~Me
 

Autism Answer: Loving the Lessons Everywhere!

Alright parents, let's admit it. We've all messed up, and more than once! We've hollered, we've cried, we've smacked and pinched and wanted to run away. We've tried to justify, we've drowned in guilt, we've hoped and wished and hated and tried. 

We've been perfectly human. Just like our kids. 

Admittedly, we are the grown-ups here. So it is our job to example forgiving ourselves, apologizing and making different choices, better-for-now choices. And this is a freaking beautiful thing! Our kids get to see what it means to mess up, apologize and learn from our mistakes! We get to show them and chat with them about how it's okay to be different, to want to give up, to want to run away. We get to show them what it means to get back up and try again, and again, and again!

My brother, Dar, was very low functioning for all of my childhood and much of my adult life. My mom insisted he understood what was going on around him and could learn skills, while professionals and his behaviors said otherwise. I chose to believe the professionals, and my behaviors spoke with loud clarity. Dar heard my non-belief, even when I lied with my words to make mom happy. Now, Dar is thirty-two and has come farther than anyone--besides my mom!--could have dreamed! So I believe in him now, with extra loud clarity! He has heard me apologize, seen me change and grow, and seen his nephews--my boys--change and grow because of it. Because of him!

A few days ago I was kind of cranky and tired. Shay, my fifteen year old son, was asking me weird questions over and over. On a different day I would have answered his questions while guiding the conversation with intention and curiosity, until we both learned a thing or two. That day, I just said,"Shay, can you please stop being so weird?" Oops! His response was a cool and calm,"No." Then we laughed together, I apologized and we discussed what it is to have comfortable conversation. It was wonderful! I got to show my son what it is to mess up, apologize, mean it, and move on! And, I was no longer cranky!

Not only is it okay to be human, and okay to make mistakes when we're parenting. It's absolutely wonderful!!

I'm loving the lessons everywhere!!!
Hugs, smiles and love!!!!
Autism Answers

My wonderfully weird son, Shay and I.
Man, I love my boys!!

Autism Answer: Celebrity Status and Autism!

“Hello and thank-you for calling Ghostbusters.” No matter who says those words, I hear them in that awesome voice and picture that little woman with the sassy attitude, Annie Potts. Without question, she has celebrity status. We know her face, recognize her voice and marvel at her range. Ghostbusters, Pretty in Pink, Designing Women, countless TV shows and TV movies, along with stage shows and documentaries… not to mention Bo-Peep in Toy Story… my generation grew up knowing her and feeling comfortable as soon as she was on screen or we heard her voice.

It’s not surprising to me that she is my mom’s guest for the most recent episode of her podcast A NEW SPIN ON AUTISM: ANSWERS! My mom has celebrity status as well. Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD (my mom) was the black sheep in her family and in her small Canadian town. Growing-up with undiagnosed autism has a way of making a person stand-out and challenge those around them to know how to act and feel. Later, as the single mother of eight children—six who were adopted; of which four had autism—she stood out still. In schools where she fought for her children’s rights—our rights, and in neighborhoods where neighbors felt intimidated and confused by our challenges, she forever stood out. And now as an international mental health therapist who also writes, speaks and teaches, always with an eye on honest answers and transparency. Even when those answers may be unpopular or controversial, and when transparency leaves her vulnerable and open to judgment, she wears her celebrity status with intention.

And that is one of the topics Annie Potts and Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD discuss on the show. The topic of what to do with your celebrity status—whether it’s something you went after purposely or something that was bestowed upon you by the nature of who you are—and how to use it wisely and with intention. How to use it to learn about yourself and the world openly, exampling for others a kind of actionable kindness that on-lookers can feel good emulating and you can feel good implementing.

   

This episode of A NEW SPIN ON AUTISM: ANSWERS will no doubt be fabulous and fun. However, it will not be unique in style to Lynette’s other episodes. Celebrities of all sorts have chatted with Lynette candidly while she played with the topic of the day. Whether the topic was single-mom autism dating (with Patti Stanger) or actors targeting autism with (Johnathon Schaech), or movement for brain health (with Anat Banial), or Phineas and Ferb (with Martin Olsen) or lucky to have an autism diagnosis (with Donna Williams) always Lynette and her guest discover actionable autism and parenting answers. Which, according to Lynette, “Proves that no matter what your interests, work, culture or age, there are always answers you can find in your personal passions, and in the passions of others, that will apply to your life. Answers that you can use to gain skills and go after dreams. This is important because it opens people up to learning from each other and, ultimately, accepting each other as well.”

Tune in now! The show can be found here: ANEW SPIN ON AUTISM: ANSWERS . You can also find it on iTunes and Lynette’s own websites, www.lynettelouise.com and www.brainbody.net.  Lynette Louise and Annie Potts will explore ideas and share insights that are rarely shared elsewhere. And I can pretty much promise that whatever they reveal will be applicable to your life!

And you’ll also enjoy listening to that awesome and familiar voice so many of us have grown-up adoring!

"Welcome to Ghostbusters...."
Annie Potts as Janine! 

Autism Answer: Laborin' for Love!!!

Happy Labor Day everyone!! I'm going to try and keep this one short, because I have an adorable youngster waiting for me to snuggle and watch Cast Away! 

We parents work our butts off! And parents of autism, along with (but unfortunately not always alongside) autistic adults have found ourselves in the position of working a little bit harder; at home and even more so outside of it.

We insist our adorably different loved ones be accepted, if not always understood. And so we--who long ago imagined very different lives!--pull up our sleeves and do the work. We try therapies, we address the stares of strangers, we explain to the other kids in the park, we have meetings with all kinds of 'professionals' and then try to find ways to dig through the mostly un-information they've shared to find gems that have value in our home. We work hard!!! 

And why?? Because we love.  

Because in those brief moments when everything is falling into place, when our beliefs and values are congruent with our actions, and the world around us is gifting us with acceptance rather than resistance, we feel something that is always and forever worth going after again and again. Love. 

So enjoy your Labor Day with the knowledge that you and your loved ones absolutely deserve every minute of it!! 

I'm off to snuggle my rug-rat!! 

Hugs, smiles and love!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

A Fabulous Long Weekend Suggestion: Binge Watch Season One of FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD!! It's available in short snippets on The Autism Channel, but I suggest getting it on demand so you can watch it simply in it's entirety.

Enjoy this short trailer for Season One! Then visit THIS link to purchase/rent individual episodes or the entire season. (I have the entire season!)