Autism Answer: International Autism Docuseries FIX IT IN FIVE: Israel - a review

 

Lynette Louise holding her brain in Israel

People are talking about Israel. Many are passionate and opinionated.

I’m certain may of these people live in Israel or have spent a lot of time in that part of the world. I’m certain many know people who are living there.

I’m also certain many of these people have no idea, no experience, no ties to the place, yet are insistent on their opinions.

As parents, we’ve experienced this. As parents where there are uncommon challenges or disabilities we have especially experienced this.

This “people voicing opinions about our situation” thing,

These are things I’m thinking about after being given the gift that is season three of FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD – the award winning international autism docuseries that originally aired on The Autism Channel.

What a journey!

In season three we travel with Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad) and her crew to Israel.

One of the great pleasures in this show is the travel.

Season one – Kampala, Uganda

Season two – San Francisco, USA

Season three– Bet Shemesh, Israel

FIX IT IN FIVE is a special style of travel series because the show is ultimately about helping families with at least one member who is on the autism spectrum, who also has at least one other co-occurring challenge; it is a show about behavior and bioplay techniques that create positive changes regardless of culture or economic position. About the brain science that remains true and malleable regardless of religion or family history.

Hence, we are invited into a family home for five days. We are privy to intimate fears and hopes as well as daily routines. Traveling this way feels more real, more authentic, more like actually being in the place.

So, it was extra interesting to me, a person who has never been anywhere in or around Israel, to have access to the third season. To spend time with Shmuel and his big, beautiful family in their small apartment home.

It does not take long to adore this family. The first episode (released and available on YouTube) is a two-part episode, but we are captivated long before we’ve even begun to feel fully settled in our seats.

Shmuel is a thirteen-year-old autistic boy with an energy that lights up the screen, and he likes being on screen! His thrill at getting to know Lynette, and her joy in getting to know him, is a delight to witness. At the same time the love and struggles of mom and dad – both of whom are impressively candid and significantly different from each other – reaches into our hearts, validating our own experiences while teaching us to understand new ones.

As a full fledged #FixitinFiver myself, I was not surprised by how easy it was to fall in love with this family. It has happened every season. I was a little surprised, however, to notice how different it felt having a dad on the show. Seasons one and two were single-mom homes, but season three is a two-parent family with six kids. I freaking loved it! The addition of dad, who struggles with such different things than mom, brings an energy that wasn’t present in previous seasons.

It also brought a new style of questions and answers.

The lessons that Lynette teaches the family, and us as an audience, are presented a little differently in this season, which was unexpectedly wonderful. Unexpected because I already loved the way the lessons were taught in the previous seasons, but the change was refreshing.

Because both mom and dad are teachers, the lessons on behavior, brain science, and bioplay, are presented in a more familiar for learning style. It’s not drastically different, but it’s different. 

Shmuel and his family practice responding differently to each other rather than scripting, in order to practice thinking differently and fostering a more real connection. They consider the concept of practicing social skills over academic learning. They are introduced to concepts that challenge traditions without disrespecting them. They adjust their behavioral environment. 

Environment is everything. We learn this brilliantly in every season of FIX IT IN FIVE.

Our environment is made of many factors. Some we can control, others we cannot. This is the beauty of what we learn with Lynette in this international series. We learn it and we watch it. We see, by being there in the home with Lynette and each family, how the consistent concepts are adjusted to suit different needs and desires; different challenges and goals.

Ultimately, this is a powerful way to grasp the core concepts in Lynette’s teachings.

Everyone is different - every family, every individual, every environment.

The people and places change; the core lessons stay the same.

Please, if you have any interest in autism, parenting, and/or Israel, watch season three of FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD. Episode one is available now and a new episode will be released on YouTube each Monday in Sept 2025. 

I won’t pretend watching will give you the right opinions to have about Israel or special needs parenting (wouldn’t it be neat if there was such a thing) but you will be more informed; less ignorant.

Along the way you will also be entertained, educated, and inspired.  

Hugs, smiles, and love!

Tsara Shelton (X.com) 

 

 

FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD

Seaason Three: Israel  

 

 

Autism Answer: Autistic Communication - a conversation

 Originally published in  The Loop

 

Mom & Dar

 Communication

 The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing, or behavior.

My mom has been teaching the value of believing in, listening to, and raising the bar for people my entire life. I am the oldest of her eight children and admit, it didn't come natural to me, this believing beyond appearances thing.

But in our home we were not allowed to ignore ideas that might uncage people. Specifically, in my youth, my brothers.

So I pretended. I pretended I believed my four adopted brothers were as capable and "like us" as my mom clearly wanted them to be. I pretended, but with mom's consistent guidance it wasn't too long before pretending shifted. Not only for me, but for my brothers and others as well.

My brother, Dar, who is most severely impacted by autism, was the most challenging for most of us to recognize as relatable. Sure, he was handsome, but the jumping, rocking, stimming - none of it seemed to be for reasons anyone could fathom.

And goodness knew he wasn't telling us.

Or, was he?

Mom insisted he was. She listened to his habits, his sounds, his reactions, his motions... she listened with her eyes, her touch, her ears, her heart. She asked him to speak, to type, to show us what he wanted to say...

Years and years of this, and as a family we all grew to understand Dar better. His speech, though, we understand least of all. Mom understands the words he says better than anyone else, yet still she mostly misunderstands or invents based on likelihoods.

As a brain and behavior expert who works with families all around the world, mom says this is common. This misunderstanding and assuming the words of our loved ones with speech issues.

There is so much value in knowing the speaker who is hard to understand is saying something, is worth working to hear and help. Just that belief alone makes a difference and can help us hear each other better.

But more is needed. We want more than what the belief can do - we want to move into solutions that take us farther.

Mom and Dar are working on that.

In the meantime, please enjoy the short video below of my brother, Dar, answering mom's questions with patience while mom misunderstands a lot. It was only during the playback that mom realized what Dar had actually been saying and Dar was able to confirm. (the captions are for those of us who are unsure of his words)

 

 

 

As we close out Autism Awareness Month, I encourage you to enjoy all the videos in my mom's Autism On The Road series. 

As my mom and brother live a nomadic lifestyle (in their RV, in hotels, invited to stay with family and friends around the world - from California to Montreal to Texas to Paris to Lebanon to Manitoba... a few months from now they'll be in Australia) their intentions have been largely to teach and to learn. As an autistic man my brother tends to inspire questions and reactions, which he and mom like to address with comfort, clarity, and kindness. 

Also, as an autistic man living in a variety of spaces, my brother necessarily needs and wants to learn new environmental skills. Food, toilets, and other expectations and availabilities shift and change, often drastically.  By spending the time closely with mom, they learn how to handle these things together. 

Lately, a big focus has been on communication. Communication of all sorts but, in particular, Dar is focusing on speech. When he watches the videos he's surprised by how unclear his language is. When mom watches them, she's surprised by how much of his language she had misunderstood.  

Together they watch them and Dar helps mom understand. Captions are added and the videos are shared.

They are the most recent (and shortest) videos on the Autism On The Road Playlist, and I recommend them. Of course, I also recommend the entire series! 

Follow this link to view the playlist: Autism On The Road  

 Hugs, smiles, and love!!

 Tsara Shelton (X.com)

Autism Answer: Nonverbal Communication and Telepathy

 

 

My brother, Dar

I originally wrote a version of this piece for my mom's newsletter, The Loop!

______________________________________________

 

"Nonverbal communication is the transmission of messages or signals through a nonverbal platform such as eye contact, body language, social distance, touch, voice, physical environments/appearance, and use of objects."

Telepathy is not on that list of examples, but it does say "such as" which implies the list is incomplete. Perhaps we can expect more examples to be told to us directly, in our thoughts. Telepathy-like.

If you have not yet been informed of the popular podcast and upcoming documentary The Telepathy Tapes, then my comment may seem rather unexpected. (I did try to warn you with telepathy that I was going to bring this up, but perhaps my aim was off?)

From their website: The Telepathy Tapes dares to explore the profound abilities of non-speakers with autism. These silent communicators possess gifts that defy conventional understanding, from telepathy to otherworldly perceptions, challenging the limits of what we believe to be real.

From me: I remember my mom (international brain change & behavior expert Lynette Louise, "The Brain Broad") telling us kids about a variety of times our autistic brother, Dar, and our mom communicated in this way.

In fact, at 36 minutes into the documentary The Indigo Evolution (click this link to watch on YouTube) mom shares a story about Dar telling her telepathically not to have an affair. (The story is funny but, as is mom's style, it is also deeply insightful and thought provoking... while being funny.)

People who spend time with autistics (or indigo children or similarly labeled individuals) are inclined to notice the unexpected and seemingly magical habit many of them have for feeling the energy and judgements in a room full of people; of making sudden and aware eye contact in answer to a thought in the mind of a parent or sibling; of laughing at a joke someone in the room is only thinking about telling; of projecting, or pushing, words into the minds of caregivers. 

This is too common to be ignored.

Exploring the communication of telepathy is wonderful, and I have experienced it myself. My mom and I shared dreams a few times when I was little, before I learned not to believe in it. I suppose we may have shared dreams after that as well, but by then I chose to presume coincidence or consider it crazy.

Knowing that our non-speaking brothers and sisters do have things to say, things that are unique to them and their perspectives, is oh so necessary. Exploring the variety of ways in which they express themselves and choose to communicate with us is what it is to care, and to do science.

However, we must be careful! We must avoid magical thinking - ooohhh, they have special powers and are beyond us! 

And we mustn't turn the story into one that denies disability. 

All too often a fight for acceptance trips over into a fight to indulge our instabilities or disabilities.

When one sense is lessened we often enhance another. This we know. But it's not like the superpowers we see in film and comic books, and I think we know this too.

When my mom first adopted our autistic brother, Dar, my little sister and I watched the movie The Boy Who Could Fly with fascination. The boy in the film is autistic (a term we had never heard before mom adopted Dar) and though the boy did not talk, it turned out he could fly. So, our new brother must also be able to fly! We waited, we asked him, we closed our eyes and told him to do it while we weren't looking. Eventually, disappointed and disillusioned, we came to realize that our brother was not going to fly. We gave up asking him. In fact, for a while, we sort of gave up on him. Our poor brother. He probably wanted to fly away from our disappointed attitudes. 

Our dear brother. His lifelong quest of attempting clear communication has been fraught with challenges. When he was still in school and practicing facilitated communication, his ability to push words into mom's mind, but not often the mind's of others, was initially frustrating and eventually dangerous, causing a few terrible situations. One leading to a painful court case. She explores all of this in candid detail in her phenomenal book Miracles are Made: A Real Life Guide to Autism (published 2011).
  

Neither mom nor I have yet listened to The Telepathy Tapes, but we both appreciate their relevance. My mom more so. Not only because of her own experiences but because of the conversations and challenges she sees in homes around the world. For more than forty years my mom has been discussing this phenomenon with families from every culture, economic background, and belief system. It is not an uncommon issue and it deserves to be explored. Carefully. 

If autistics can communicate using more of their senses, it follows that most of us have the potential to do so as well.Whether it is telepathy or other advanced skills of nonverbal communication it is worth our attention.

The power this science can have to guide - or misguide - us as a community is clear.

Not the science itself so much as how we handle it. 

Let's handle with care. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!

Tsara on X.com

 

 

Autism Answer: Heavenly Home and the Words we use to Describe it

 
 

 I originally wrote this piece for my column on Disabled World. I am sharing it here with permission.

 

Louloua Smadi and Lynette Louise

 

A few years ago I was taking minutes in an important business meeting for All Brains Grow….

Okay, I will be honest with you. I wasn’t taking minutes exactly; I was taking notes. I wrote “taking minutes” because that asks you to picture me in a specific role; one where I am professional and potentially necessary, but not overly responsible for what is said or done. Taking minutes in a meeting is a requirement of many businesses, whereas taking notes is less professional sounding but a good idea.

In the meeting I was encouraged to be engaged, to include my thoughts and opinions, to recognize areas that were not being addressed or were hard to understand. Mostly, though, during those beginning meetings between Lynette Louise, Louloua Smadi and their team, my action was to take notes while they designed a website and online course meant to share the behavior, bio-play, and neuroplasticity knowledge they teach to families and schools around the globe. Responding techniques and brain science that effectively helps people with special needs and/or traumatized brains. All Brains Grow and they want to share with as many people as they can how to grow them with intention, confidence, and expertise.

I am Lynette’s daughter and personal assistant. I have been her daughter since my birth (unlike several of my siblings who came along at older, sometimes even teen, ages) and her personal assistant fairly consistently since my teen years.

Louloua is not my sibling, and though I feel sometimes like she is I am kind of glad she isn’t. If she were, I might have to be jealous. She is beautiful, multilingual, holistically intelligent, and ever so empathetic. More than that, she is enthusiastic about taking up the torch and partnering with mom while I am enthusiastic about being less hands on and more of a sideline cheerleader. I am not being self-depreciating, I do see my value from the sidelines, but I am also aware that my unwillingness to be in the hands-on position leaves me in a more comfortable less vulnerable space. Hence, I might be a little bit jealous of Louloua if she was my sister. (I recognize this because I am a little bit jealous of Brandessa, my hands-on leadership sister. I am also her enthusiastic cheer leader.)

Being invited to take notes and offer ideas to the All Brains Grow team as they began building an online course for parents around the world, using their combined experience and expertise, their delightfully different styles and cultures, I was full of gratitude.

As neuroplasticians, play therapists, moms, siblings, and individuals these women are aware and experienced in the art of caring about special needs and learning disabilities. They focus on environments and families.  Never on a broken child. A broken person.

They teach the science and skills of neurofeedback and bio-play.

Bio-play takes the science of biofeedback, the learning enhancement of play, and the knowledge of everyday living, and brings it together into a lifestyle of easy living while learning.
They are gifted at giving parents and caregivers the understanding and information necessary to become experts in the lives of their children and the home they are building. As I said years ago in my notes: Making bio-play effortless so time at home is easy and everyone grows smarter and healthier. Heaven at home.
 
And now, Heavenly Home is the name of the course.
 
And it is names I want most to mention here.

Due to their combined years of making change happen in lives that were desperate for it, making miracles happen with behavior science and persistence, knowing what needed to be taught and exampled in the course they were building wasn’t as hard to hash out as knowing what words to use in their lessons and literature.

And this is the thing: they work and live in different places around the world, languages change and people they work with most often struggle with communication, yet people are easily emotionally charged and ready to react unnecessarily strongly to word choices.

It is not the opinion of thinking people that we should not discuss the power our language has. Indeed, Lynette and Louloua are wonderful at pointing out how the language you use in your home will indicate deeper meaning and influence behaviors. However, whether you use terms like special needs, learning disabled, autistic, brain dysfunction, or neurodiverse, does not mean you are more or less “right” but more likely means you have adopted language based on what you hear and see around you. The names and words we use are worth examining. They are always worth considering, and changes in the way we speak of and to each other do make changes in the way we see ourselves and each other, leading to changes in our ability to gain skills and grow healthy.
 
But arguing about the words is not the point: considering them is. As I took notes that day, I listened to the women consider and care about the language.  Not to pander or push back but as a result of how much they consider and care about people.

This is the part we want to hold onto and take the strongest action on: the people we are talking with while we use our words. The people are the point, the words are our attempt to connect.

Those conversations and my notes are a few years old now. Since then there has been much filming, transcribing, consulting, and teaching. All Brains Grow is now a website with an online course for parents and caregivers of people with special needs that is being utilized by parents around the world. It is a beautiful way to use technology in order to help families in their homes, in the space they spend most of their time and where intentional informed responding most needs to happen.

Heavenly Homes is about creating a heaven at home by knowing what to do to help your family grow healthier and more skilled. Happier.

Heaven at home is knowing when to give attention and when not to give attention, knowing when (and what) to play and when not to play, knowing when to punish and when not to punish; knowing when to be scheduled and strict and when to be free and spontaneous. Heaven at home is being armed with knowledge so you can be a quick effective responder.

The name of the course is Heavenly Home.  Heaven is used because that is the feeling they want to create, the feeling the word evokes. It would not be impossible for people to choose to be angry at the heaven inference. They could decide it is blasphemous. Or they could infer that there is religion involved and choose to avoid it. Even scoff at it.

But Heavenly Home got its name on that day I was taking notes when the team talked passionately about wanting to help families create a space at home that was wonderful. Where they knew how to encourage growth, acceptance, and skill acquisition and be their own experts. Where they would know what to do when challenges presented themselves.
 
Knowing what to do is a heavenly gift.

However you choose to say it. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

~Tsara

 

Autism Answer: Communication is Hard But We Can Practice Clarity and Meaning What We Say

 

Pencil poised ready to write

Communication is hard. Verbal, non-verbal, written, performed, painted, or otherwise portrayed. English, French, doesn't matter. It's all hard. 

 

As a writer I used to feel as though I'd failed when something I wrote was misunderstood. Tens of people would understand*, and then one person wouldn't, and I'd feel I'd failed. I hadn't peaked as a communicator yet.

 

 *I was tempted to write "hundreds of people would understand" but let's be honest, I never had hundreds of people reacting openly to my writing. That's okay! It's more manageable this way!

 

How silly of me! Pay attention for any amount of time to the world around us and we see communication is always imperfect, even when done perfectly. Did I think I had some magical power of writing that could transcend all others? <--- no, but I've wished it.

 

All of our readers, listeners, neighbors, family and friends, are engaged in their own interpretations based on experiences, level of understanding or intelligence, specific interests in the moment, mood, prejudices, agendas. We are, they are, the world is. 

 

It is one of the wonderful wonders of attempting to communicate. And it is also one of the hardest parts. 

 

Having four autistic brothers who were impacted by the disorder in varying degrees, I grew up craving some sort of device that would allow me to understand them. And for them to understand me. "I love you, but please stop jumping and screaming and making everyone stare at us," I wanted them to know. "Why do you wrap your lips around hot tailpipes?" I wanted to understand. 

 

The jumping and screaming, the lips on hot tailpipes, there were reasons for those (confession: my mom had to teach me that. I actually thought the reason was "they are autistic" and am forever grateful that my mom insisted we explore further) and there were reasons for them to learn which were okay where and which were terribly dangerous. But, communication is hard. 

 

For absolute certain, though, it is worth practicing. It is worth teaching. It is worth honing. 

 

There is a saying: It isn't enough to write so you will be understood. You have to write so you can't be misunderstood. 

 

It is a lovely idea, but if you gauge your ability and success as a communicator by needing to be entirely and always understood, you will lose. 

 

Debates about the meaning of words and art by the greatest communicators are forever engaging interested minds. Not because the communication was poorly executed but because we all understand different things differently. It is a guaranteed product of this desire we have to connect! 

 

I think, instead, it is worthwhile to communicate with clarity. To practice being clear and meaning what you say. To not adjust the meaning in order to be applauded or appreciated, though we will adjust the methods and style. 

 

There is a Lily Tomlin quote I love: We are all in this alone. 

 

It reminds us we are all here, but we are never able to not be alone in ourselves. At least, that what it communicates to me. Who knows what Lily Tomlin actually meant? 

 

Maybe not even Lily Tomlin! 

 

That's the other thing. We can be clear, we can say what we mean and then change and grow and no longer know what we meant. 

 

But now, in this moment of infinity, as we try to communicate, we can practice being clear and meaning what we say. 

 

And that is what I'm trying to say. 

 

I mean it. 

 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

 

Autism Answer: Inclusion - My Brother, Dar

*This originally appeared in the May edition of my mom's newsletter, The Loop!*

 

 

My brother, Dar

 

 

The book my mom wrote with and about Teressa (a woman in California diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder) includes so many interesting personalities.

 

Some speak from beyond the grave. Some speak from holy text. Some speak from within the fractures of Teressa herself.

 

One personality remains steadfast and supportive, often at mom's side, and it is that personality I want to draw attention to: my brother, Dar.

 

During the course of writing this book and living on Teressa's property, Dar and mom have worked together. Dar's lack of words has never equaled lack of communication, and in this memoir he speaks clearly. He steps back when people need mom to focus on them, he reaches out when they need a light touch, he is a sounding board for mom as she works to illuminate issues and consider moral conundrums. He is there to hug her when she cries and then to remind her of her strength.

 

The way my mom and Dar work together is a hard core real life example of the power of inclusion.

 

Inclusion is a collaboration.

 

It is not: put your own needs aside, move over and make accommodations.  

It is not: fit in, don't show up if it's going to inconvenience others in order to assist you.

Inclusion is collaborating to accommodate and assist each other in the direction of a common goal: living our full lives.

When you read In Search of Teressa you will feel the power of that collaboration.

 

And you will be rewarded.

 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

 

 

My mom and my brother, Dar

 

 

You can see all of my mom's books, including the one I am referring to in this post, on her websites: 

 

www.lynettelouise.com 

www.brainbody.net  

 

Autism Answer: Allow, but also Push - aka Old Lady Wisdom

 

Me trying to show my age but also using the vignette feature to try and make the photo look cool and not just like I'm trying to show my age :D

 

Ever since I was a little girl I've enjoyed the feeling of picturing myself as an older woman. 

 

More specifically, I'd imagine myself as a wise older woman with a smile, an approachable kindness, and a life alone in the woods. I would push myself in that direction. No rush, of course. I like enjoying all the states I'm in while I'm in them. But I would imagine my older self with a happy anticipation. 

 

Interestingly, I never imagined myself feeling older. 

 

Now, as I'm enjoying my 50th year, I am noticing that the feeling older is something worth paying attention to. No, I do not want it as badly as I want to look older, but I also do not want to hate it. I want to allow my age while I push in the direction of feeling great in my mind and body. 

 

I want the privilege of being older and I want to embrace it holistically. 

 

Which means celebrating the appearance, cultivating the wisdom (which my little girl self, with her lack of wisdom, had assumed simply happened when you got old), and focusing on the way I feel. 

My focus on how I'm feeling is to better understand others and to have more of those spectacular, "Oh, now I get it!" moments I continually crave. I freaking love stepping into a new understanding.  

Also, though, it is related to my desire to be an active participant in my own evolution. I want to feel myself age while I explore what that means for me, and while I challenge what it could mean for me. I want to be strong in my refusal of certain elements while being brave in my acceptance of others. I want to decide where to be strong and where to be brave as the evolution continues. I want to do this in real time, not predetermined. Not unthinking. Unaware. Unkind.

It is a valuable skill, knowing how to both accept and push against. My mom exampled this fantastically with my autistic siblings: they were to be accepted and allowed to be themselves while also pushed in healthy directions, growth, and skill acquisition. 

 

Each of my mom's children (there were eight of us) were unique. Which meant there had to be flexibility and understanding of where one could be pushed while another ought to be accepted. We grew up in a home that knew we were all equal but not the same. We knew not to judge each other for which skills we chose to work on, which feelings we insisted on finding, which challenges we chose to accept and rise to meet.

 

So, yes! I will allow age to enter me everywhere. The little girl in me claps with appreciation over how far we've already come and bounces with excited anticipation over what awaits. (Although she might be a little disappointed at how long it's taking the wisdom fairy to give us our old lady wisdom magic. tee hee!)

 

As I allow I will also insist. I will insist on pushing toward my own version of how age feels in my body.

 

Push, but also allow. Allow, but also push.

 

Because I am old I am wise enough to know this is worth doing.

 

 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)