Friday, December 20, 2013

Autism Answer: Inspiration Porn~A Different Way

My husband and I often get interesting reactions, just because we're together and in love. 

Sometimes we're glared at, or ignored when it's our turn at the check-out counter, or charged more for a tire than the person before us.

And sometimes we're told that we are inspiring, and amazing, and impressive! I used to appreciate these compliments when they were about our age difference (he's twenty-three years older than me) but would be quite bothered--maybe even a little bit knee-jerk reaction offended--when they were about our skin color difference.

My own reaction was telling: I did find our age difference worthy of inspiring, but never really considered our color difference at all interesting. 

My own prejudiced became clear: I thought our age difference was inspiring! And my husband's prediction (which I had often argued with him about!) proves correct; color difference bothers/inspires people. 

But now I see that to be offended is almost always and forever the wrong choice. If we inspire and amaze you... great!! Just because it shouldn't be amazing that we're together, doesn't mean I ought to be offended.

I should--and do!!--however react with honest surprise, and suggest that falling in love should have nothing to do with age, race, financial stability, religion, sex, or ability. It should have everything to do with who you love being with, and who helps bring out the best in you.

My husband loves all of our children with all of his heart, adores me and my quirks, and has helped me grow into a me that I love being. He also has really sexy arms!!!

Here's another truth that should be considered. It is harder for my husband and I when we go out together than it is for many couples. Yet, we go out. We are treated with stares of interest, distaste, or inspiration... but stares none-the-less. So... there is some truth to the fact that we are doing something ordinary, but that because it's more difficult for us it is slightly less ordinary. And we are sometimes tempted to quit. To stay home. To avoid confrontations and judgments; offered to us and our children. 

I choose to accept a little responsibility to not only allow a little inspiration to come our way, but to also go out even though it's challenging. Otherwise it will more likely remain challenging for future generations. 

If you inspire people, but feel it's for the wrong reasons, tell them!! But I suggest not being offended, because then you miss out on a most lovely opportunity to feel complimented, and to share a truth without judgments. 

A truth they might not want to hear, they might not be ready to hear, or...

They just might be.

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers

A picture of me and my hubby.
Aren't we inspiring?!

Author's Note: Inspiration porn is an image of a person with a disability doing something completely ordinary – like playing, or talking, or running, or winning, or hitting a tennis ball – carrying a caption that suggests “your excuse is invalid” or “before you quit, try”. The world of disability has many intelligent and emotional thoughts on what these images and messages are actually conveying, and I encourage you to listen to their views. Here I only share my own experience which is different, but similar.