Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Autism Answer: What I Read & Who I Am

I realized something about myself yesterday. 

As I came to the end of a pretty good book I was reading, and started looking forward to rummaging through the bag of books I picked up at our local library's annual book sale, I couldn't help but notice how clear and always the same my taste is. 

Every year I devour a few "who done it" type novels. Fast paced, private investigators, crimes of passion or politics with uncomfortable back-stories.... these are, admittedly, fun! But mostly you'll find me reading books exploring human relationships and reasons... relationships to ourselves, our environments, our parents, our children, our society, our culture, our lovers, our friends. Amy Tan, Wally Lamb, Margaret Atwood, John Steinbeck, Steve Martin, Ruth Ozeki, J. D. Salinger, Lynette Louise... these are a few of the folks that live on my bookshelves.

And though I love exploring relationships, the idea of reading a romance novel has never appealed to me. At all. I've tried.

Why on earth am I so uninterested in romance novels? As I was considering this question (my hubby and I were on a long drive, I think about silly things on long drives!) it occurred to me that the answer is simple.

I like exploring relationships, I don't like worrying about them. 

Does that make sense? I like the assumptions that come with established relationships: we'll figure this out, how did this get off track and what do we do to fix it, when this is over what will the take aways be? You know... when you're teasing out the tangles in yourself because of things you've assumed, felt, considered, judged, imagined with people, weather, society, your soul.

But falling in love, wondering if you're loved in return, thinking about whether or not you should stick it out or whether or not you're wasting time and preoccupying yourself, risking the possibility of missing out on your soul mate or whatever. This stuff isn't fun for me to read about.

Not that I have anything against romance!! I love talking and writing about my marriage and the support and love we give each other! I love snuggling my hubby and listing all the ways he helps me shine, holding him tight and kissing his arms.

But, again, ours is an established relationship. We've been marvelously married for fourteen years. This is the kind of relationship I'm addicted to exploring.

So, to sum up: I was on a long drive and realized something about myself that I pretty much already knew, I finished reading a pretty good book and am about to reach into my bag and grab one of the five that are left, but first wanted to ramble on to my friends about why I love reading what I love reading, most likely in an attempt to justify spending a few days reading instead of vacuuming, dusting, and folding laundry. Also, I love rambling with you guys because ours is an established relationship and I'm not sitting here worrying about whether or not you think I'm pretty. tee hee!

I love reading. I love people who read. And I would never judge a person as good or bad, smart or dumb, less or more valuable than, by what they read. Romance is fabulous, it tickles the tummy and makes us blush. It gives us a magical opportunity to find how we fit with someone while encouraging us to look at ourselves through the eyes of another; it's lovely! I just don't enjoy reading about it. For those who do, by all means, let the tummies tickle!!!

Enjoy a life being you and letting others be them--while temporarily wearing the hats of many. Whether you love romance, classics, hard rock, true crime, fantasy or sci-fi.... find yourself!

And if you're having trouble, go for a long drive. I bet you're out there somewhere. 

tee hee!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Some of my books; recently read and forever remembered!