When we simply say things like, "these terrible times" or "in this cruel world" or "amidst all these horrors" or any other shrugged off assumption about living in a mainly hurtful world, we are solidifying and creating a story for ourselves and our loved ones about living in a hurtful world.
Sure, we generally do this as a way to introduce something lovely, and in this way make our lovely story stand out while at the same time trying to sympathize and connect with people that struggle. We share memes and stories and say, "take a moment to enjoy this lovely thing since we are living in a yucky world," as a way to highlight the lovely by also highlighting the yucky. Contrast, I know, is valuable. And it's easy to do when we lazily refer to the world as horrible and our story as lovely. But the truth is, we're creating terrible horrors while we highlight them. We're making them bigger, we're replaying them, we're teaching our children to assume them as a given, and we're making a big mistake.
Look around with honest eyes, friends! Lovely isn't the exception, it's the rule! Over and over and over and over again I am greeted by, bumped into by, shined on and comforted by lovely. The yucky happens, and I figure out how to deal with it in the most lovely way, and then I'm surrounded by mostly lovely again! Sure, I can look specifically for the terrible world, hurtful policies, dangerous stories and see how much of it there is. Admittedly, sometimes I do that. And still, even though the ugly is very ugly, and there is much of it, there is still more lovely than yucky.
I honestly believe that if we shifted and introduced our stories from a place of assuming wonderful and seeing the hurtful as anomalies, we'd create less of it. We'd accept less of it. We'd teach our children that life is lovely although yucky happens. And that we must be willing to work at finding lovely ways to address - and change - those cruel and yucky things.
Our histories are filled with stories of tension, hurt, love, progress, reframing, renaming, growth, death, flexibility, and strength. Lovely and Yucky. While we tell the stories we create both our past and our future. So let's simply say, "in this exciting time of reframing" or "in this wild and weird world" or "amidst these clashing stories of strength," or any other fun introduction that doesn't presume we live in a time and place of mostly cruel horrors. Because, actually, we don't.
We live in an exciting time of reframing in this wild and weird world amidst clashing stories of strength, I think. A lovely place where there are some cruel and yucky things we need to address.
Let's take advantage of our storytelling power to shape it with intention, love, and an assumption of mostly lovely!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)