Saturday, April 25, 2015

Autism Answer: Sometimes the Answer is to Send Her Home

I have a step-daughter who's a handful. Especially when she's been drinking alcohol. And she likes to drink alcohol.

So my husband and I have told her, often, that she's not welcome to come over to our home when she's been drinking alcohol.

Today she stopped by and she'd been quite obviously drinking. As she screamed and yelled and paced and swore at us we reminded her she was not welcome inside until she'd sobered up. Our seventeen year old son heard the commotion and came out of his room to see what strange new thing could possibly be going on in our silly, happy, swear-only-when-it-makes-a-kind-joke-funnier home. 

My step-daughter apologized to him saying, "This isn't about you. This is grown-up stuff." 

To which I replied strongly, "This is not grown-up stuff. Not at all. This is the opposite of grown-up stuff."

My step-daughter looked confused (in her defense she grew up in an extremely different environment than the one I insist on calling home, and learned the look of "grown up" from extremely different grown ups) and seemed almost sober for a moment. 

After hearing my comment my son looked no longer confused. He seemed certain of my authority. 

I have a step-daughter who's a handful. And I love her enough to tell her to go home while I strongly insist on exampling what I believe that a home can be.

Sometimes your step-daughter needs to hear no, and sometimes your son needs to hear you tell her no and explain why. 

I insist on a kind, happy, open minded home. And I believe in teaching our children how to insist on it too. 

All of our children. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

You don't have to be treated with kindness to insist on being kind. And sometimes being kind means saying no.

I insist on living in a kind, happy, open minded home. Also, I like trees!