Friday, June 12, 2015

Autism Answers: Manipulating Moments that Make Us Happy!

Many of us are enjoying the summer holiday right now. Kids are out of school and life is less structured and we're doing our summer thing. 

In my family the "summer thing" is always figuring out how to get as many of us together in one place for as long as possible without spending money we don't have. Quite a trick!

But being the magicians we are (aka people who know we must do this, that there is no alternative) we always figure something out! 

I drove from our town in Texas (near Waco) to my mom's town in California (near Los Angeles) the other day. We're here!!! My sister and her girls are coming over in a few hours!! There will be so many of us under one roof sipping oceans of coffee and surfing waves of laughter!!!!!! 

I love all the moments we contrive every summer. All the moments! 

But I'll tell you a secret. 

My favorite moments are always the ones that happen when my sons manipulate a way to get all four of them, and me, doing something "just us". It's such a feeling of joy and connectedness and "everything's right in this world" that I can barely stay in my skin! Not only the part where I'm surrounded by my four beautiful boys but also the part where they manipulated it to happen. 

The part where they want it too! 

I don't care how old you are, how happy you are, how healthy you are, what color you are, what size you are, what religion you are, what political party you're a fan of, we ALL like to be wanted and loved. 

It's powerful to remember that.

When you're at a loss. When you're wondering what to do for or with a loved one, maybe during the long summer months of vacation, fill that void by actively contriving a scene where they know they are wanted and loved. Make it obvious! Don't be shy! Tell them, "I want it to be just you and me for a while, can we go to the park? Or go for a drive and listen to your favorite song? Or walk to the coffee shop and sip our favorite drinks? Or see a movie at the discount theater?" 

It doesn't have to cost money and it doesn't have to take long, but it does have to be sincere. Take a moment to sincerely want nothing more than a little time with the folks close to you. 

The memories and moments and connections and honesty and love that happens in these small purposefully contrived and manipulated moments, especially when made consistent, are enough to create a lifetime of fondness and good habits. 

(Now I've gotta figure out how to create a lifetime of wanting to work hard. My boys and I still kinda struggle with that one!!!! tee hee!)

Happy summer friends!!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

This is a picture of my sons I took yesterday at the discount theater after we manipulated a moment that had us going there alone. Just me and my boys. 
It was, as always, a moment that will last many more moments!