|When there were three.|
I was asked for my "Parenting Bonding Secret."
I laughed. It's no secret!! I tell everyone who'll listen. I write about it in books and blogs, and I annoy my hubby with it!
I have four sons who are now mostly grown. It's true that we are uniquely bonded. I feel it. People comment on it often, sometimes even asking for tips. When my boys were little I didn't know why we were so close and I had a hard time explaining it. But eventually, after enough people asked and I tried to articulate it, and because I started writing "Autism Answers" here with you, I think I've figured it out.
And it's really simple!
I don't think of them as my charges or my responsibility to mold, I don't see my role as teaching them how to be good or polite.
I see my role more as a guide; someone who knows a few things about the world and wants to share what I've learned while being curious and interested in what they see and how they perceive things.
Because of this we play together, laugh together and grow together, as a unit. I'm not their "friend" exactly, I have a role that includes raising the bar for them and showing them their own capabilities by having clear expectations and insisting on things.
But because of my belief in their inherent value, and my authentic interest in learning who they are and how they see themselves, bonding has always been easy.
So, that's my not-so-secret-secret to bonding with our kids!
Our role as parents isn't to mold our children but rather to be so interested in who they are and who they want to be that we'll do whatever it takes to help them articulate and become that.
In doing that we often become deeply bonded.
Lifetime adventures where we all play an equal role tends to encourage that!
Happy bonding, friends!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
|And then there were four.|