Friday, April 21, 2017

Autism Answer: My Sons Are Awesome! (aka Our Children Are Awesome!)

"My sons are awesome!" ~Me

"My sons are awesome!" <---- This is an absolute truth, in my mind. From the moment I knew they would one day be born, this was an unarguable fact. No need for proof; no need for double-blind studies; no need for anyone else to agree. My sons are awesome much like gravity happens.

The challenge then hasn't been helping them become awesome, because that's an absolute unarguable foundation I take for granted. The challenge, the job, has been helping us discover the many ways they are awesome. The work is guiding us to recognize and value the healthiest awesome parts and tweak the other stuff. Parenting has meant actively seeking ways to fit their awesomeness into the world in an environment that allows it to blossom, without forcing environments to change overly much for them or asking them to change overly much for environments, but instead seeking people and places that benefit from each other's awesomeness while always being willing to move on - without animosity - when things changed. Because things always change.

"Our children are awesome." ~The World

When we remember that all of our children are inherently awesome it becomes natural to seek and highlight and put into action the proof of that. Less often will we teach from a place of what not to do or be, and far more frequently will we uniformly seek and add to the things we're pleased with and happily surprised by. And our children will respond by revealing ever more of that naturally occurring awesome for our attention! 

Honestly, I believe that when we remember this truth, that all of our children are awesome, we will still make mistakes and screw up as moms and dads and aunts and uncles
and teachers and doctors, but we will be screwing up from a place with an unobstructed view. The lie of "what's wrong with these kids, what needs fixing" won't command our attention and hide the vista of truth. The truth that our children are awesome and we get to help them harness and hone that. They will make mistakes while trying, as will we, but it's all just the mistakes of people who are awesome.

TIP: It's important to remember that all of our children are awesome, so we don't make the mistake of playing the "better than" or "compared to" game. That's an unwinnable game. A cruel, painful, lying, unwinnable game. 

Our children are all born equally awesome. That's just how it is, friends. No biggie.

"My sons are awesome!" ~Me 

You're darn right they are!! 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)