Autism asks challenging questions, begs us to think outside the box and then...Autism Answers! Musings, shared family stories, book reviews, and short fiction. My posts are rarely specifically about autism or parenting. They are, however, almost always stories grown from the fertile and organic thinking soil that can be found where the two come together.
I'm making a resolution to watch more movies in the upcoming year.
I have a love of great filmmaking and have even written a screenplay myself. I actively engage in conversations specifically to share my desire for a more inclusive film industry. Yet, I don't carve out a lot of time to enjoy the films themselves. I catch myself too often worrying that movie watching is lazy.
Oops!
I believe the movies we make are important and of great value and yet I also think watching them is lazy? That's not congruent thinking at all! So, I will still have those conversations but I will also walk my walk by seeking and watching and recommending films that are inclusive, diverse, and entertaining.
Allow me to make an inclusive film suggestion for you while we're chatting about it. Living with Lynettewas written, directed, produced, and stars my mom, Dr. Lynette Louise ("The Brain Broad"). It also stars two of my brothers, me, my dad, and my niece. Oh, and the other actors and crew are friends who either have disabilities, mental health diagnosis, or family members that do.
The Plot: A wild and weird family is moving into their new home in the hopes of creating a more permanent life for themselves. Headed by Lynette -a strong single mother - the large family with diverse backgrounds and various mental health challenges is used to the curious stares of strangers. However, when the new neighbors begin to introduce themselves on moving day, Lynette can't help but notice that perhaps they are the strange ones. Soon she finds herself doing therapy on a catatonic neighbor, attempting to understand his exasperated ever-changing wife, and babysitting their young child, all while trying to keep the walls of her new home from being eaten and the carpets from getting stained before they've even finished moving in.
The Concept: My mom's intention is to create a special membership site that invites people to send in clips of their special needs loved one in order to be selected to be on the show. If this evolves as intended it will grow into an improvised web series involving all levels from severely challenged to high functioning individuals. As it grows, my mom will make it available for public viewing (so people no longer have to be members on the site). This is a fictional comedy based on our lives and my mom did an amazing job of keeping it funny, candid, and practically true.
The Awards:Living with Lynette was 2018 honorable mention winner in two categories at the International Independent Film Awards: Casting and Original Song. The song is funny and catchy, and I'm glad it was recognized. But it's the casting I'm particularly happiest about, because it is the casting that's different, important, and - well - my family! Actors with autism, bi-polar disorder, and even one man dying of cancer (my dad). It is the point of the show, to share what it is to be crazy and what it is to be normal and the subjective/invented line between the two, while including people with diagnosis and disabilities to play integral roles in the making of the show. And so we are honored for both awards but mostly so for the casting award! Thank you to the International Independent Film Awards judges!
I have taken the time to find books written by diverse people from various cultures, and boy has it been insightful and fun! And how funny that reading rarely feels lazy to me, when reading is done by sitting on my butt, or laying around in my bed, sipping coffee and dipping myself into a world noone around me can see. How funny that that hardly seem lazy to me while movie watching can. And yet, movie watching can be easily done as an activity, dipping many of us, together, into a world unlike our own; sparking conversations and ideas as a group.
Well, silly me! 2019 will be filled with films I'll watch alone, with family, and with friends. As with the books I read I'll take the time to find inclusive and diverse stories (last night I watched ROMA, a fantastic movie that chronicles one year [specifically in the early 1970s] in the life of a maid in Mexico City. I HIGHLY reccomend this film which is available on Netflix!) that are guaranteed to enlighten me in surprising ways while reminding me to give attention to the important work of inclusive filmmaking.
What fun I'm going to have keeping this resolution!!
I hope you'll join me in taking the time to direct your attention to things that matter to you. I also suggest taking a moment to reflect on possible contradictions in your life that will be fun to correct. Like engaging in inclusive storytelling!
Happy New Year my fantastic friends!!
Feel free to share film suggestions with me and follow along for my upcoming recommendations.
"I would like to thank my fellow nominees and award winners...." In my imagination I stand on a stage wearing jeans with no holes in them (or, if there are holes they are purposefully placed and not a result of poverty and the friction of oversized thighs) while my sons, my husband, my mom, my sister, my nieces, my grandchildren, my brothers, and Idris Elba watch on in appreciation and love. Of course, in true life I sit surrounded by mess in my office/bedroom/living room wearing jeans with holes in them (a result of poverty and oversized thighs), not wearing deodorant (the sustainable healthy stuff I have is kind of expensive so I tend to deodorize every other, other day - today is between other days) and my family is scattered across the country, working on dreams and life goals of their own.
But, one thing remains real in both imagination and true life - we are happy and we watch each other in appreciation and love. (I'm not sure about Idris. Oh, he's with us happily in my imagination, but we're still working on that true life bit. Giggle!)
And so it is with great gratitude, and the support of my loved ones, that I accept the Sunshine Blogger Award!
The Sunshine Blogger Award is given BY bloggers TO bloggers who inspire positivity and creativity in the blogging community. Thank you Cindy Kolbe, for nominating me! Cindy's beautiful, creative, positive blog is Struggling with Serendipity and I encourage you to visit. INTERESTING ADDITION: This is the second time I've been offered the Sunshine Blogger Award. The timing was perfect for me then and the timing is perfect for me now! Words I Wheel By gave me the award in 2013, giving me reason to call myself a blogger, and Struggling with Serendipity has shared it with me now, boosting my reason to continue blogging. Thank you both! The Rules: 1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog 2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you 3. Nominate 11 bloggers to receive this award, and write 11 new questions 4. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your blog
Cindy's Questions: 1) What corner of the world are you from?
I was born in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada. I lived in Manitoba, Alberta, and spent summers in Saskatchewan, but most of my younger growing up was done in Ontario, in and around Toronto. I love that city!! I moved to Texas, USA (Houston first, then Teague - a tiny town between Dallas and Houston) when I was a single mom with two small sons. I was following my family and thinking maybe they would come back to Canada with me. But when we got to Texas it was just so darn hot that we lost all motivation to do anything, so we stayed. (Seriously, I think that's one of the reasons people stay here. tee hee!) I had a few more sons, got happily married, and grew up even more in small-town Texas. I live mostly here now, but also spend a lot of time in Southern California where most of my family is living.
2) How long have you been blogging?
This is always an interesting question for me because I don't think of myself as a blogger. I'm comfortable saying, "Like I wrote on my blog the other day..." but in my mind that just means the place where I keep musings and thoughts and stories I hope to share. Of course, that means I've been blogging, but I think my idea of blogging and bloggers is more about doing it consistently and with a more business style mentality. Not that I imagine all bloggers are selling or making money, just that I suspect most of them have at least a plan for what they will get from their blog. I'm more selfish. I just want a place to put the stuff I write where other people can read it but I don't have to be responsible to anyone but myself and my idea of how my ideas will affect the world. So, with that in mind, I've been blogging selfishly for about five years. :D 3) Why are you blogging?
I love figuring out what I think by writing. I love re-experiencing my moments through writing. I love exploring personalities unlike my own through writing (and reading). I love sharing the unique abilities, ideas, talents, and adorableness of my family through writing (often accompanied with images). And when I was a little girl I dreamed of becoming a mom and a writer when I grew up. I love giving myself exactly what I've always dreamed. So, I'm a mom and I'm writing.
4) What do you like best about blogging?
What I like best about blogging is undoubtedly the freedom to tell the stories I want to tell in the way I want to tell them whenever I feel compelled to do so. But another thing I like best, and a thing that surprised me, is all the people blogging has introduced me to. Of course, I know stories connect us. But in this world where the internet exists our stories can literally connect us to new people, often in far away places. Dare I even say new friends? Yes, I dare! After all, it's my blog so I get to write what I want in the way I want. Giggle! When I first heard about people "meeting" each other on the internet I kinda rolled my eyes. But I have learned that the friendships here are truer than I imagined at the time and I love it!
5) Where would you like to travel?
There are many places I would like to visit but if I was offered one dream travel opportunity it would be taking my sons to Toronto for a week with unlimited funds to visit all my old stomping grounds, eat in all my old favorite restaurants, and discover new stomping grounds and favorites together.
6) What would you do if there was no chance of failing?
Hmmmm.... that's a great question! I really don't know. All the things I want to do that I haven't done yet are not things where failure deters me. I am slowed down by timing and finances, sure, but I don't mind the idea of failing in those endeavors. Let me think about this one and come back to it.
*Maybe what I'd do if there was no chance of failing is cook for people. I often avoid cooking because I'm not confident in a kitchen. No, that's not really an idea that means much to me. Let me keep thinking about it. **Okay, now I know! If there was no chance of failing I would volunteer my time far more often to events in our community. I love being helpful, I love pitching in, but far too often in the past I have heard later that things I did or said were causing a few folks to feel uncomfortable. Now, a few of those things I would still do (breastfeeding in public, for example) even while knowing they were causing a stir, but I would maybe do them with a different attitude. I honestly couldn't imagine back then that some of these sorts of things (not smacking my kids when they were misbehaving, for example) had folks squirming with discomfort. However, even more often I didn't ever figure out what I did or said, or didn't do or say, that had people snorting out phrases like, "We just don't like your kind around here." So, I don't pitch in as often around town. But now that I've been given this opportunity to put it down in words (thanks for asking the question, Cindy!) I may go ahead and put myself out there again. With the understanding that it's okay for me to care about other people and their feelings, but it's not my job to babysit them. "I'm not doing it that way to be different; I'm different, so I'm doing it that way." ~Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad) 7) Favorite season?
Autumn!!!! Especially in Toronto!! Especially with coffee!!
8) Favorite food?
Cheese and crackers. *Hey, that gives me an idea for number six!
9) Favorite music?
My son wrote and performed the song "Brothers" as a surprise for me and his brothers. That is my favorite song:
And my mom, Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad), has two albums out that I LOVE. Sing Me A Song.... Please! and Crazy to Sane. Brainiac is my favorite song from the Crazy to Sane album:
But I don't have "favorite music" because it truly depends on my mood. However, I will admit, I LOVE music! In fact, I've written a couple of songs myself. Here I am singing Sexy Daydreams (Or My Life is Awesome):
10) Favorite book?
Roots: The Saga of an American Family by Alex Haley.
11) Favorite quote?
Quotes are interesting. They're so powerful when you hear or read the right one at the right moment, and then later you can't quite remember why it shook your core to such a strong degree. The quote didn't change, but you did.
However, these few always give me something important.
"I'm not doing it that way to be different; I'm different, so I'm doing it that way." ~Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad) **This one just gave me a reason to know what my answer is for number six! I'll go add it now.
"I feel it coming in, my voice is getting an opinion." ~Jory Rand Shelton (my oldest son) "Talk way more about the things you like than the things you don't. Watch how the world responds, creating itself for your attention." ~Me "Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." ~Bruce Lee
My Nominations: (Please forgive the small number. I don't really read blogs! I don't enjoy reading on a screen. See? My selfish blogger side is showing.) Unlimited Pieces of Me
Myzania Brainpickings Quirks and Chaos My 11 Questions (should they choose to participate) Do you live in a house, apartment, RV, car, dorm, etc? What do you like best about where you live? Are you living with many people, alone, or something in-between? What are some of the perks of your living situation? What is a challenge of your living situation? Do you prefer coffee or tea? HINT: Coffee. Giggle! At what age (so far) have you been the happiest? What is a hobby you have? What is a hobby you wish you had?
Has anything about writing or blogging surprised you?
Have you met your blogging goals, if you had any? BONUS: Do you think I'm selfish because I don't really read very many blogs? ;D
Thank you again for this honor, Cindy! I hope my acceptance speech didn't take up too much of everyone's time, but it was my great pleasure to write it. And look at how my sons are staring lovingly at me while I accept this award! (Go ahead, imagine it with me. I hope you'll include yourself, too. Oh, and coffee!! Let's add coffee!)
I am not now, and never have I been, a visionary. My habit is to observe, consider, delight in, learn from, and seek answers in life on the edge. My family and my style have always kept me not quite fitting into the norm, but always close enough to live in a state of wanting to fit in while wanting to be comfortable standing out.
From this place, I have explored diversity: in my ideas, in the people of my life, in the cultures I live in and visit, and in the stories I choose to watch, read, tell, and believe.
But I am not one who sees clearly outside of the common narrative. Though I am poised to understand because of my positioning, I almost always need a nudge.
Thus, I am one of those people who appreciates with great passion the people (like my mom) who step out and speak up thoughtfully and with passion about what they see, what they don't see, and how they understand it to be affecting us. These people bring me news from the places I see on the horizon, point out connections that are often missing in regular discourse.
When I was young I confess to a fear of believing in these people. These speakers of truth that rattle the status quo. I don't like confrontation and would worry about being challenged, not confident in my own ability to explain an insight I was unsure of, even while knowing that my uncertainty had more to do with my fear of being confronted than the insight itself.
Happily, though, as I've matured I've grown better at listening, doing my darndest to understand, and then diving into my own personal thinking on the subject.
So, I admit it. I didn't always agree or see that there was a lack of diverse storytelling and inclusion in our Hollywood films. I also didn't always see how it was affecting me. How it was teaching me what to expect, who to include, and how to do so.
But I have, over the years, been shifted into an important understanding. I've listened, observed, and considered the lack of true diversity in our mainstream films and am surprised by how clueless I've been!
It's not only the lack of representation in important roles (the stars, the writers, the directors, the producers) who are rarely women, disabled, black or brown, openly gay or transgender. It's also in the stories themselves, what we tell and how we tell them (which, I'm certain, is a by-product of the lack of diversity in the folks being paid to tell the stories).
Inclusion in film is, finally, slowly, growing, which has mostly revealed to me how dangerous it was that we were missing out on it all along.
Our movies aren't just what we watch when we want a respite from life or a night out. They inform our thinking, introduce us to concepts, bring people into our hearts and homes. They help us know a bigger world that we can ever discover on our own, breaking down barriers and building bridges.
Those of us who see ourselves in these stories rarely notice who we aren't seeing. I'm not beautiful*, but I'm an able-bodied pretty enough white girl. I've seen myself represented in the "friend" role of films many times. Heck, I even fashioned my life that way for a long while. Wanting to say the wise things to my beautiful family member or friend when they were struggling with a problem. Wanting to be the one there in the exact right moment to say the thing that would bring the beautiful person's conflict to a close. Because of me but not about me.
*Please note that in this context I'm referring to a type of Hollywood beautiful. I know that I am beautiful. We all are. But this is a story about representation in a visual medium. Okay? Okay. Thanks!
But what happens when the person you are is rarely seen in the stories? Sure, we are all in the main the same - desiring love, acceptance, support, and a bit of stability - but we are vastly different, too.
And so if I was disabled or gay or obese or black or brown (and so on) I wouldn't often see myself in a mainstream starring role or even an important role. I wouldn't see my worries or needs or unique issues discussed and brought to light. And when I was represented on screen it would most often be as a plot device, a person to pity, or a social activist type hero. Not often, almost never, as a good ol' fashion regular person in the starring role of a mainstream film about: FADE IN having a problem, finding love, learning something about myself, and finally fixing my problem, FADE OUT.
At the Oscars last night, which I saw the last half of, there was a bit of diversity. That was nice. But it wasn't until Frances McDormand gave her Oscar-winning acceptance speech that I learned the term "Inclusion Rider" and knew how very many people agree and believe in the need for this shift in filmmaking!
If, like me, you thought she was saying "inclusion writer" and thought, "Well, that's a strange way to put it. I mean, we need writers who are inclusive and stuff, but an inclusion writer makes it sound, I dunno, weird. Plus, it's not that we need writers who include diverse characters and storylines, although we do and that helps, but what we need are writers who are different and diverse themselves. Inclusion writer sounds almost like a way to keep diversity out by writing them in, giving them a pat on the back and saying, 'There ya go, friend.' That's not cool."
Well, no. That's not what she was saying at all! It turns out that actors can insist on an Inclusion Rider clause in their contracts which insists on a certain level of diversity in the cast and crew for that project. That's fantastic!!! I love that!! Inclusion already makes life better. Imagine how much better our movies will be when we open them up to everyone!!
In a film that stars a character with a disability it would be wonderful to see actors with the disability play the role.
I've been on the set of a film that did just that. I played the role of Sherry (and I did production assistant work) for the pilot film Living with Lynette.
The show's intention is to hire actors, writers, and crew with challenges and disabilities.
The episode I'm in stars actors with autism, bipolar disorder, even a man (my dad) who was dying from cancer. The director/writer is Dr. Lynette Louise ("The Brain Broad"), world-renowned Brain & Behaviour expert. We had a camera operator who had a learning disability, and her brother was on the autism spectrum. He also played, along with his mom, a small role in the film.
Working with autistic actors in Living with Lynette presented challenges. But filmmaking is ALWAYS filled with challenges and filmmakers get beautifully creative when put in a position to problem solve! So, I don't see the problem! ;D
It's important to include everyone in our storytelling and a great way to do that is to encourage, invite, and embrace all types. The idea of an Inclusion Rider is clever. That's something A-List actors can do.
And something audiences can do is demand it. We are ultimately the people filmmakers need to please. It is our money, reviews, money, attention, and money that they are craving. We are their lifeblood. Their nourishment. Let's see the films with the most different than us cast. Seek the stories that represent and hire a more diverse world.
And, when appropriate, we should bring our children! Show them, tell them, believe in them! Make sure they know that they can be our important storytellers, too. Not some of our children, all of our children!
I love film. Heck, I've written a screenplay myself and hope one day to see it on the big screen. (Yes, my screenplay has a diverse group of characters, thanks for asking!) I think that even if we don't want to make movies it is necessary that we remember the role we play in choosing what movies are made.
And in my role as important movie decider I'm signing my own personal moviegoing Inclusion Rider right now. I may not be a visionary or a great leader but I will certainly choose what visions and leaders I want to support.
