Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Autism Answer: Remembering my Privilege

My handsome and dark skinned hubby loves me, and gets a lot of flak for it!

At work they treat him poorly and sneer,"Why'd you go and marry a white woman?" A neighbor-lady (who is also black) poured sugar in the gas tank of a car he was working on. When he asked her about it she said,"Maybe someone did it cause you married that white woman." Before we got married, his already grown kids asked,"Why would that white woman want to marry you? She must be using you for something." 

Yet no one ever talks down to me in this way for marrying a black man. I guess I get judged, but I'm never treated with this kind of obvious and open prejudiced. Of course, it's because I am a white woman. Somehow, because my hubby has dark skin, he is to  "blame" and more easily talked at with disrespect. 

My husband is a fabulous and strong man. He carries a lot, and rarely lets us get a glimpse of just how much he handles. 

However, it does help me every once in a while to remember my own privilege. To remember that the world treats each of us differently, and that we experience it differently. 

With my years of learning and growing as an autism sibling, I'm quite gifted at taking the time to remember my privilege!

It helps me for so many reasons. I can adjust expectations, I can see the world has much to learn about acceptance, I can remember that my colorful and challenged children are living in a world I can only know by asking questions. 

It helps me to remember how often my disabled brothers are attempting to navigate a world that treats them so very differently than it treats me. How they are seeing and feeling and hearing and tasting difference from a place I can only know by listening.

And wonderfully, remembering my privilege helps me to see the love my husband has for us. To know that he loves me and our boys so much louder than these accusations. 

I am pretty privileged. And I'm very loved. It's never a mistake to see that!

Hugs, smiles and love!!
Autism Answers

"It's not differences that divide us. It's our judgments that do." ~Margret Wheatley

My hubby and I
Looooonnng ago!
We've aged a lot, but we're still this happy!!