Autism Answer: Five Things I Learned (Or Re-Learned) Watching Fix It In Five

Five things I learned (or re-learned) while watching Season Two, Episode Three of FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD:

*Disclaimer: These are things I learned, not necessary things the show was intending to teach. As a writer and creator of content myself I know well that often the lessons learned are different - even contradictory - to the message I might have been meaning. I also know that it's surprising and wonderful when people learn things from my writing that is completely reflective of the audience themselves and not me. That, actually, is largely the point. 
 
1) Process Out Loud: When playing with our kids/students/friends we can process the whys and whats of our actions out loud in order to easily explain - aka teach - our choices. It's become a habit for plenty of us to ask for our kids to do things, or to stop doing things, without breaking down our reasons for what we're asking. So all they know is we want this or don't want that, but they don't know why. And honestly? We, ourselves, often don't even know why! Processing out loud helps us figure it all out while teaching.

2) Be Comfortable Talking About The Uncomfortable: We gotta get over any yucky feelings we have when saying things like "don't touch your penis in public" because our discomfort teaches discomfort. Conversely, our comfort can teach comfort. If we are completely comfortable, then the statement plays its intended role; it becomes a simple, consistent, social skill lesson. For the person we are teaching and for all the folks nearby.

3) Value Giving Control: Most schools and programs value getting compliance from students and then offering small bits of control over their schedules and lives. Rewarding compliance with control. However, when we give more control of schedules and life choices to students in the first place, when we value giving them more control, we can ask for the compliance we hope for while giving them an important role in their own lives. We can teach the social skills we want badly to teach - and most people want to learn - while doing the things they are wanting to do. The lessons are in the moments, not the schedule.

4) Always Assume You Are Understood: There is an unfortunate trend among us to assume we can talk over our children's heads, or over the heads of folks who are socially challenged. Not cool, man. Always "Act as if, and then simplify." Act as if everything is understood, and then simplify the pieces and parts for clarity. Perhaps, by processing out loud! (#1) 

"Act as if, and then simplify." ~Lynette Louise, "The Brain Broad"

5) You Are Never Done Learning: This isn't something specifically taught in the episode, this is something I learned by noticing my own reactions to things. Most of the situations and lessons offered in this show are familiar to me, yet I found myself surprised during moments of my own, well, surprise! With my brothers and my sons, I am comfortable with, and aware of, their unusual habits. I have practiced explaining and teaching to them (and have been honored to play a role in our growing healthy together!) and I am tuned into their energy. I can feel when their moods will shift. I can ride the waves of our moods without too much worry about where we'll end up. However, watching a new family always brings new habits and moods. And even though the new family is so very similar to ours, it always feels nervous and new to me. And I always have to learn what I already know all over again! Generalizing, it seems, takes practice. At least for me!

BONUS THING I RE-LEARNED:
6) I adore Jody, Xavier, and Gina. I adore families. I adore how willing so many of us are to figure out a new way to teach and to love when we find ourselves in a story that asks for it. I adore watching The Brain Broad shine such love out of her eyes day after day after day.

*These five things I learned are from only one episode. And I could have written more. Seriously, friends, this show is a sparker of infinite thoughts, ideas, and actions. It can be seen (all episodes, and both seasons) for FREE on The Autism Channel. Visit my mom's site for more links and info: http://www.lynettelouise.com/fixitinfive/

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 
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PROMO CODE FOR PURCHASE:
The show (both seasons) is also available for rent/purchase via Vimeo on Demand. This promo code will get you any/all of the episodes at 50% off: Awareness2017

Purchasing the show is a wonderful way to have infinite access to all that it has to offer. Also, you can (and I think you should!) offer it to events and schools. You can put on an event yourself! Not only that but your purchase helps fund the editing and filming of the next three seasons (Israel is in the editing phase). 

Please consider purchasing both seasons!  

Promo Code:
Awareness2017

Season One (Uganda):
https://vimeo.com/ondemand/fixitinfive/135616261

Season Two (USA):
https://vimeo.com/ondemand/brainbroad/136013375

Enjoy!!!



 

Autism Answer: Free (A Five Sentence Story)

A Story In Five Sentences: 

Free

I chatted quietly and sweetly in the back of the police cruiser, smiling and giggling and apologizing and nervously covering up my deep fear, taking action by putting my sweetness and youth on display.

I’d never been arrested before and I never imagined that I could be; I was a sweet girl who was afraid of authority so I rarely broke rules, other than ones of necessity.

By the time I was locked up with the others I had reassured myself that I didn’t belong, that I could at least enjoy a night with a roof over my head until this mess was cleaned up and my obvious goodness was clear and understood. Avoiding eye contact with the large black woman pooping on the toilet four feet from my mismatched sneakers I promised myself that I would be extra good and do exactly what I was told.

Then I would be free.
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I wrote that five sentence story (which may or may not be almost autobiographical) last year in response to Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction Challenge at the time. Which was simply to write a story in five sentences.

This macro-story blossomed into a short story that I wrote a few months later. The main character, Apple, is a socially challenged and easily confused homeless girl who lives under a tree. I adore her! 

However, my short story HOMELESS is still, well, homeless. I've submitted it a couple of times to publications that seem like a possible fit, but short stories aren't easy to find a home for. At least, not when they want to get paid for their time. That's been my experience, anyway. 

So, for now, it's going to continue to live a life of unlimited possibilities; not promised to anyone or expected anywhere at a certain time but ready to tell its story when the Universe (or an interested publisher with payment) finds an audience in want of it. 

Selfishly, I'm not in any hurry. I love Apple. I love the tree she lives under. I love the relationship she has with her friend Mike. I don't mind keeping them to myself for now. 

Particularly because I know that one day she'll look down at her mismatched shoes and they'll make her feel fancy. She'll look at me and I'll know that she didn't get all dressed up for nothing and she has places to go, and I'll be happy for her. I guess I'm not selfish so much as aware. Aware that being ready for an adventure doesn't mean we have to force one on ourselves, or on our loved ones. 

But we should be willing to take advantage when the time is right. 

So Apple is ready, and I'm ready, and one day soon the time will be right. 

In the meantime, I was able to share a snippet of who she is and how she thinks here with you now. 

And in only five sentences! 
What a clever, crafty writer I am! tee hee!


Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

 

I think I found Apple's tree.

Autism Answer: Werewolves and Anxiety

Walking into the high school with my second youngest son (on our way to watch my youngest son perform) he stopped suddenly and squished my cheek.

"I think I figured out why I love werewolves so much."

"Umm... okay."

We started walking again, heading with the crowd toward the ticket sale line, and he explained. "As soon as we started walking toward the school I could feel my anxiety rise, my body felt nervous and fuzzy. Then when we walked in I felt a shift, a change, and I even noticed my body move like in the movies when people change forms, become the wolf. My anxiety has always been like that. I feel it coming, and then I feel myself change no matter how hard I try not to. I can't control it." 

I stared at him for a minute. As he had explained his theory I'd watched his body move subtly like werewolves in movies. It was fascinating! Insightful, scary, enlightening; useful!

"Wow, that makes so much sense! Do you feel the anxiety now?"

"Oh, yes. Always at this school." He turned at looked straight into my eyes. "Always at this school."

By now we had made it to the front of the line. I purchased our tickets, exchanged a few excited words about the upcoming show with the mom volunteer, and then held my son's hand as we headed into the theater. 

"Well, I'll tell your brother how much his show meant to you. That you were willing to risk staying in your werewolf form for him. But if you need to leave at any point just tell me. For now, you can control the anxiety - or 'the wolf' - by choosing your environment."

"Thanks, mom." 

He looked relaxed. He held my hand. 

We enjoyed the show.

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

My son and I, at the show!