But it's also true to say that I've almost always been happy and open-minded. I've learned over the years that the two tend to go together. I find that I genuinely like almost everyone (even though there are many people I wouldn't choose to invite into my life often) and I have a blast with almost everything I do. Whether it's something I've chosen or something I'm pushed into like school, laundry, and paying bills. People who knew me growing up, as well as people who know me today, use words like "satisfied" "happy" "sweet" "positive" and "bubbly" to describe me.
But then, it's easy for me.
Not because I've had a trouble free life--molestation, discrimination, poverty; these are words that play a role in my story. But because, as it turns out, I've got a pretty balanced brain.
Funnily, I used to wonder if there was something wrong with me, if perhaps I was a pushover or naive and that's why I was always helpful and happy. Other times I would assume there was something wrong with other people, because they couldn't just choose to be helpful and happy.
Eventually, in search of a tool that could help Dar, my most severely autistic brother (all my other brothers had healed to the point of hardly needing help, so it was Dar my mom still sought miracles for) mom discovered neurofeedback.
A tool that would, essentially, save all of us from a life of floating and wondering and searching.
At first it was mom and Dar who got brain balancing sessions with beeps. Neurofeedback is truly wonderful, putting nothing in the body but information and offering feedback that helps balance the brain nearly the instant the brain behaves in the way it's encouraged to.
Both mom and Dar benefited so quickly and in such surprising ways it became a passion and project for mom. To help the family, to certify and educate, and to help families around the world.
It wasn't long before I got to have a turn with her brain reading and balancing buddy. I'll admit it, I was nervous. I wanted to do it "right" and be read as "lovely and smart". Of course, it just reads delta, theta, and beta waves and other brainy things. It doesn't judge at all, so I was being silly. But still....
Well, my mom found my brain to be kind of boring! Turns out, it's rather balanced. And for my mom, a woman whose joy comes from helping others, I must have been a bit of a disappointment!
But learning that about my brain, and learning via mom's brain expert smarty-pants chit chats the unbreakable connection between how your brain behaves and how you feel, made me make sense.
And it helped me see others--so very many others!!--with even more open mindedness and a truer appreciation for their potential struggles.
Also, it helped me to know that people can grow kinder, more comfortable, smarter, and happier with the proper feedback, minus the judgment.
Knowing that it's easy for me helps me see myself not as "lesser than" or "better that" but rather, lucky.
And obligated to take advantage of that luck to keep on being helpful and happy.
Keep in mind, friends, that what's easy for someone else but hard for you isn't proof that you are less than, it most likely means that you are different than.
And when meeting and being with others, offer them that same kindness and understanding.
Also, know that anything you want to be, you can! Seek the healthiest feedback for you and your brain! And though it may be harder for you than for another, you can do it if it's what you truly want!
If you're having trouble sorting all of that out... call my mom! Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad is gifted at helping people understand and know themselves!
Perhaps it won't be long before droves of us are able to say...
"But then, it's easy for me."
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
For one of my all time favorite short videos of my mom doing neurofeedback and playing with a little girl in Uganda: FOLLOW THIS LINK!
But first check out this video of my mom talking about her show FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD, bringing play and neurofeedback to you! The show can be seen on The Autism Channel!