Saturday, November 30, 2013

Autism Answer: Celebrate and Smile!

I woke up at 3:40 AM to the sound of Declyn and Shay laughing and playing a video game. They were working together trying to explore some unknown world, looking for some scroll or something. They were making middle of the night type jokes--you know, the ones that are only funny because of a drunk-like fatigue. Those jokes that when offered in the light of day fall flat and incorporate too many fart and penis references. Those ones.

At first I thought it was a dream, and I was happy. The sound of my sons laughing and enjoying each other remains my all time favorite sound. Even better than Three Days Grace live! After a few moments I realized that it was not a dream, and I became irrationally annoyed. What are they doing up at 3:40 AM??! How are they going to break the all night habit when school starts? Have they eaten all the food while I slept?? Boys will do that you know.

I stayed in bed for another minute, waiting for that annoyed feeling to go away. You see, I've been a mom long enough now to know that it will go away. And that we are all happier if I discuss any issue with my loved ones (husband, sons, brothers etc) if I just wait a moment.

~~One time, when my sons were small and a lot more work, I didn't wait for that annoyed feeling to go away and called them all "little shits." They've been taking advantage of that one for years!! Actually, it's become something of a family joke!~~

It didn't take long at all for me to no longer feel annoyed. Now that I'm good at waiting, I no longer feed my annoyance with proof of why I should be annoyed, but rather I starve it by reminding myself of just how many beautiful skills my sons are exercising while working together and joking (albeit, poorly!) at 3:40 AM.

Social skills, comedic timing, connection, cooperation, clarity of speech, and problem solving--not only regarding finding the scroll, but also working out what to quietly eat that won't be missed by mom in the morning!

Before I could get out of bed to ask my sons why they were still up, and to find out if they had been using my computer for anything... um... not appropriate.... Declyn came into the room where I was sleeping and asked,"Mom? Did we wake you up? Sorry, we're going to go to sleep now." And then he lied down beside me and passed out. And about an hour later, so did Shay!!!!

When I woke up this morning I was smiling and celebrating. Not only did the night end in a win for mom, getting snuggles from teen sons who just don't snuggle anymore, but it also ended in a win for my sons, who got to feel free and independent and in control of their own schedule.

My Point: There are always reasons to smile and celebrate. There are also always reasons to be annoyed and worried. Often, they can be the same reason.

When choosing what to do with a reason, don't be afraid to smile and celebrate! In the long run, the lessons and skills will still be yours to teach, but when we mostly smile and celebrate it's way more fun!!!

Happy Saturday friends!!!
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers