Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Autism Answer: Challenging, Not Sad--The Difference Is Everything!

This morning my youngest brother called me just as I was about to make my coffee. I thought about telling him I'd call back later so that I could brew a pot first (we have a phone with a cord--no multitasking here!) but decided not to let my addiction get in the way of family. Of course, it is an addiction, so I had to think about it.... 

Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and then he said,"I think I'm really lucky that mom worked so hard to adopt me. She helped me learn to be a hard worker and learn to like myself more than any other mom would have. Plus, I got really good sisters."

"Thank-you, Rye!! You know, us sisters were really lucky too. You boys are the exact right brothers for us. We are all really happy, because of each other. And because of mom telling us that we better be or she'll hang up!!"

We laughed and loved a bit longer, and then said our goodbyes so we could get to work.

Today there are a lot of people speaking and blogging and writing letters to Autism Speaks--who will be holding a conference in Washington this week-- hoping that they will at last hear our plea to stop infusing insidious lies disguised as caring. To stop telling our autistic loved ones that they are hurting us and exhausting us and more...

In writing this I recycled the title I used on a post I wrote for Autism Positivity Day. Because it matters. There is an important difference between challenging and sad. 

There is no doubt in my mind that having autism is challenging. That it makes navigating the world difficult for many people that I love. There is no doubt in my mind that discovering ways to help those I love find comfort, gain skills, and communicate comfortably is worth every moment I take to do so. Even if that means waiting for my cup of coffee!

However it isn't hurting me, or making me sick. It's helping me see things clearly. It's helping me open my eyes to truth. And though my autistic loved ones are often challenged, even unfairly so, I would never want to talk about them as though they are harming me. Never. They are not. 

Sometimes I'm tired of the same obsessions, sometimes I'm annoyed with moods and having to explain something that I've already explained a gazillion times, but that's because I'm human. It has nothing to do with autism or my autistic loved ones making me unhappy. They are not. 

But when the world is taught to see in that way, we do harm them. There is nothing but harm that can be done when approaching anything with such an attitude.

I don't know much about Autism Speaks, or any other autism group to be honest, because my mom (who is an international, playful, and happy expert!http://www.lynettelouise.com/) taught us to just love and help using our own organic ideas and instincts. But I do know that using scare tactics and woe-is-me type talk only hurts everyone.

And I refuse!

Now... I'm going to brew myself some coffee and smile a lot!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!
Autism Answers

My Family:
So much autism
(and a heck of a lot of challenges,
some of them having to do with autism)

so little sad!