Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Autism Answer: Now you see it/Now you see it different!

Here's a pretty neat example of how we can see something one way, and then see it completely differently with new information.

The song 'Hate Me' by Blue October  was one of my faves when it first came out. I would turn the radio on, hoping it would be playing and then turn it up and sing my heart out when it was. It was my jam!! I mean, who doesn't totally "get" a song about telling a boy/girlfriend that they should go away, that you are bad for them, that they should learn to hate you? Many of us have felt that way at one time or another!

So, my boys knew how much I loved this song and they downloaded it from the internet for me, and then they played it in it's entirety. Not the radio version, this one's different. This one includes an intro and extro making it very clear that the young man singing is not speaking to an ex-lover, but rather his mom. Yikes!! He's telling his mom to leave him alone because he is bad for her. He can't live up to her hopes for him, and having them in his face makes it even harder.

Listening to it that time, with this new information, I bawled. I cried like a baby and felt an enormous pain in my chest. Heavy and hard. One of my fears has always been that my boys would take my love, my belief in them and hopes for them, and in their minds use it to magnify their own failures and missteps.

So now, this song that used to give me goosebumps and thrills, now gives me sadness and fear. I actually can't listen to it anymore if I'm feeling even the least bit vulnerable.

Just a neat little example of how we can see something one way, and then see it different. 

Many of us did that with autism. Saw it one way, and now see it different. I think it's important to remember that, so we help others see it different, rather than just tut-tut them for how they see it now.

The something we see doesn't have to change... sometimes, with new information, we do.

Hugs, smiles and love!!!