Friday, May 24, 2013

Autism Answer: A skimpy red dress. (Why not? It's Friday!)

Anyone can wear a skimpy red dress. And when he/she chooses to wear that dress, they are communicating something. However, if you assume you know exactly what it is that they are trying to say by wearing that dress, you just might make a fool of yourself, hurt someone's feelings or plain and simply miss out on a fun opportunity!

One person may be wearing it because she feels sexy and wants others to notice, another because he knows the color looks good or it'll keep him from drinking too much. Yet another person may have chosen it because he was dared, and another may be wearing it because her friend bought it for her and she feels obligated. I know that if I was wearing it, it would be because I don't ever, ever buy or wear dresses, so on the odd occasion when I absolutely have to wear one, I borrow from my sexy sister! 

You can get an idea of what someone is trying to say when wearing the skimpy red dress if you pay attention to how they wear it. If you remember to allow the body language to be part of the story, you will more likely be successful at reading between the lines. But still, never assume you know. 

So the next time you run into someone wearing a skimpy red dress (or mittens in summer, or headphones attached to no music, or ten times too much makeup or backwards shorts and mismatched socks...) rather than assume you know that they are trampy or crazy or autistic or scary or lonely, take the time to let them tell you who they are!! Or if that opportunity doesn't present itself, allow the story you make up in your mind to be fantastic and fun--in a kind way!! 

There are many, many ways to communicate. As those of us in the autism community know, often words are elusive and challenging. But regardless of the tools we use to connect, always remember to do so inclusively and with kindness! Let the communication be a connection, rather than an internal monologue of assumptions and guesses.

I promise you, if you EVER see me in a skimpy red dress, I will be more than happy to laugh with you, so that you don't feel so tempted to laugh at me!! That's what I get for having a sexy sister!! tee hee!

Have a fantastic Friday friends!!!!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)