Sunday, May 26, 2013

Autism Answer: Parenting, Guilt and Getting over it!

Parenting, parenting, parenting.... sick of me yet? Here I go again!

My oldest son is nineteen, completely on his own and responsible for himself, yet I still catch myself seeing his struggles and feeling regret for the many (and I mean many!) times I could have stepped up as a mom and challenged him to learn these skills when he was home. But, I didn't. I see him making mistakes that I could have taught him not to make when he was still my little boy, living with me. I'm not only talking about stuff that I tried to teach or I just didn't think of either. I'm talking also about things that I knew I could have done, but for one reason or another chose not to. I know that guilt is a pretty useless and insidious feeling, but there it is! I don't mind feeling it for a moment, as a way of being honest with myself, as long as I then try to learn from it. AND I talk to my son about it. Not in an apologetic way, but in a comfortable here's what we can learn now kind of way. 

I figure that once all four of my boys have moved out and have families of their own, I'll have this whole parenting thing figured out! No wonder so many in-laws and grandparents are annoying and constantly giving unwanted advice! That's when we finally know what to do!

I think what I'm saying is, no matter what we've done or choose to do as parents, later we will see things we could have done differently. Always. So, let's forgive ourselves and be proud for doing what we think is right today!  

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)