Saturday, June 1, 2013

Autism Answer: Let's consider the tone that we keep in our home.

*Authors note: I wrote this Autism Answer for my Facebook fans in December, soon after that terrible school shooting in Sandy Hook, Connecticut. Less than a week before the school shooting my youngest brother had been raped by a stranger who'd forced his way into his apartment. I never imagined I would choose to return to this post. Some things are important enough to be said, but often we would then like to forget that it had ever actually been needed. Recently there have been more tragedies--Boston Bombing, Oklahoma tornadoes, a terrible fertilizer plant explosion in West, TX not far from my town and more--so I felt a need to remember what I had said that may help me know what to do. How to be for my family at times like these. I am not editing this piece, but I am remembering to own the words. Huge hugs to all of you and I truly hope your family has been safe from the many sad events I have alluded to... xoxoxo

I'm sorry I haven't been around much. Likely, you aren't spending much time hanging out online either, so I doubt you've noticed my absence! Snuggling your kids, wondering about the state of the world and chatting with loved ones is where I expect you are too. 

Last week our home suffered a personal tragedy. And now the Connecticut shooting has made our hurt echo. There aren't words powerful enough to heal the worry and hurt, and if there were I am not insightful and brilliant enough to be the one to discover and share them. But goodness knows I wish there were such powerful words!

What I will say is that people who love their lives and love their world don't go out and kill it. Please, when talking to your children and yourself about this recent tragedy--whether you blame gun control, pharmaceuticals, violent video games, domestic violence etc.-- please try to look for answers without anger or hate. 

There are no words to fix this sadness. But the words you use to describe it and try to understand it will affect you and your loved ones. I'm not suggesting a frown and a shrug, and get on with your life. There is much to be discussed and lessons that we must, must discover... but perhaps we should try to remember while sharing our thoughts, that it is answers we need. Not blame or hate. 

I love all of you! Feel free to share your thoughts, hopes and concerns. 

One more thought: Although it is true that many of the recent tragedies have been at the hand of Mother Nature, it's still important that we consider the tone we keep in our home. All of our children--especially our autistic ones who seem so in tune with energy!--will feel our stress and worry. Also, there are many people who believe that climate change, spirituality, religious premonitions etc are to blame and will feel that speaking out about their beliefs is how they can be proactive. I agree! I just also know that being passionate and proactive with a positive tone is more important than being right about the problems and answers. Hugs!!!