Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Autism Answer: It happened. So... give it a reason!

Stuff happens. Fun stuff, challenging stuff, scary stuff, painful stuff, lovely stuff, mysterious stuff... and on, and on! So I encourage you, especially in those moments when the stuff is making your emotions wild with confusion--to give it a reason!

I was driving my youngest brother to the airport a few days ago. It was a beautiful day to drive, and we enjoyed the first hour in comfortable, thoughtful silence. The second hour was filled with fun and insightful conversation! My brother was thinking about how unbelievably unfair it is that his birth mother (our mom adopted him and his two brothers when they were little) drank alcohol while she was pregnant with him and our other brothers. Fetal alcohol syndrome is one of the many labels they had when my mom fought to adopt them, and though she's been able to help them peel most of the labels off over the years, this is a very sticky one! 

My brother looked at me and said,"It's just so selfish of her. It was just a few months of drinking for her, but for me, it's my lifetime." So... it happened. Together, we looked for a reason

My brothers have allowed my mom to share their story, and have become louder and more confident when sharing it themselves. Hundreds, if not thousands, of others have benefited from the lessons in our life! Also, my brother realized the importance of thinking about how your choices affect others. How sometimes we might be thinking of a pleasure for ourselves in that very moment and forget to wonder what it may do to those around us. He also started telling me about his new belief in Karma, and how it's helped him on the road to forgiving his biological mom. And how it's helped him make the hard choices when they seem right, knowing that it will not only benefit him in this life, but possibly the next. 

This doesn't mean it's good that his mom was an alcoholic who chose to put beer in their bottles... but we gave it a reason. And my brother is better for it! Not the stuff... but the reason!

Again, it happened. So... give it a reason!!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
Me and my baby brother. The oldest and youngest siblings!