Monday, June 3, 2013

Autism Answer: Twisting to Find Yourself

My son and I were chatting in the car. His brother was spending the night with a friend and he was feeling lonely, missing his playmate and best friend. These two boys couldn't look more different but have always had a twin like connection! 

So, on this night, he was talking about how rarely he visits friends as compared to his brothers. The talk was a lovely and important one, and I keep remembering one of the things he said that I adored.

"When I'm at a friends house they have different rules and stuff, so I always have to not be myself when I get there. Then I twist around inside until I can figure out how to be myself, with the new rules." 

I love it! I love, love, love that he didn't stop with not being himself, but insisted on twisting around until he figured out how to be comfortably him in a new environment. We all have different aspects of ourselves, different styles of being us that are perfectly authentic. Some of us can ease in and out of the appropriate ones simply, without even noticing. Others (like many on the spectrum of autism) often have to take the time to twist inside themselves actively, until they find just the right them that fits most comfortably for the moment!

I've noticed these sort of social skill revelations with my autistic kiddos often. Something about it not coming naturally has helped us learn to look at it closely, and my boys see things so interestingly! 

Thank-you to all of our autistic loved ones for encouraging us to look at things differently!! And I promise to twist and twist and twist until I find my comfortable self while learning to understand you!!

Hugs, smiles and love!!

*Feel free to enjoy this video of my son... dancing like himself!!!*