Sunday, June 9, 2013

Autism Answer: It's Okay to be Sad while you're Happy!

This parenting thing is full of challenging surprises!! Yesterday I spoke to Jory (my oldest son) on the phone and he admitted to being a little bit sad. He lives two States away from me, is working at Blockbuster and trying to pay his rent, buy groceries and still have fun with his friends. He's new at this budgeting thing and has made a few mistakes--okay, more than a few!! I'm happy for him because he hasn't expected me or my mom to step in and save him, he's learning very important lessons, and he's willing to admit when he's messed up! I'm sad because I know how hard it is to be broke, and I want to crawl inside his head and tell him it'll be okay.

Today I was chatting with Tyran (my second oldest, the one hanging with my wildly autistic brother, Dar, while mom's in Africa) and mentioned that it might be nice if he were to invite his older brother over for a healthy supper. Tyran was thrilled with the idea!! He's been enjoying his thirty-one year old uncle, and they have done some adventuring, but the conversation is quite limited! So he's been kinda lonely and was excited to invite his big brother! I'm sad because Tyran is so far away from me, he's been asked to handle a new school, watch his autistic uncle and navigate the public transit though he's famous for always getting lost. I'm happy because he's doing a wonderful job and is comfortably calling me when he needs to know how to buy a stamp or cook the chicken!

Right now Jory, Tyran and Dar are sitting down to a steak and veggie dinner that Tyran made himself, with a little guidance from me on the phone. I am sad because I can't be there, and because I know that I won't be there with them for quite a long time. I'm happy because they are there for each other, they look to me for guidance--without expectation and with appreciation--and I feel confident that I have gifted the world with wonderful men.

I'm learning that it's okay to be sad while your happy.

Luckily, the sad is pretty small, and I'm ultimately very very happy!!!

My two oldest boys, there for each other while living far away from me.
So happy-sad!!