Monday, June 10, 2013

Autism Answer: If not for happiness, then for what?

Why do you work so hard and learn so much and advocate with passion? Is it so your child can learn to talk? Is it so your Aspie husband can learn to bite his tongue and speak only appropriately, offering him more friendships? Is it so that your sister will stop hitting herself when crowds or noises overwhelm? Is it so you can believe in a future where you play with the grandkids while your child goes on a date with his/her loved one? Maybe it's because you want people to stop looking at you strangely when you wear your noise cancelling headphones at the grocery store. Is it because you want to help someone you love learn to feed themselves and have bowel movements that aren't painful? Is it because you feel lost and confused and you're searching for some answers that make you feel connected? Answers that encourage and inspire you? Answers that make you feel like you know what to do?

These are all wonderful reasons! These are all valid reasons! But none of these are exactly REAL reasons, because in truth, they are just things we see as a way to happiness.

I'm not saying we should stop advocating, learning or struggling only to sit around grinning goofily...tee hee!... I'm merely reminding myself that it's important to never ever forget the true goal: Happiness. Otherwise it can become easy to get lost in all the ideas and hardships. Since happiness is always in our grasp, it's nice to remember that it's also the thing we are most often looking for.

All that other stuff is going to happen, we'll all make sure of that! And when it does, there will be more stuff to make happen! In the meantime it's nice to remember during this pursuit of happiness, exactly what it is we are pursuing. And that it's something we already have. (Rather like that popular mistake of looking for your cell phone while your talking on it!)

Happiness, comfort, love, acceptance etc... these are all things we can give ourselves at any moment. They are things we can share, right now, with our loved ones. Let's try not to get so caught up in the fight for happiness, that we forget to feel it!

I mean, if not for happiness, then for what?

Hugs, smiles and love!!!