Autism Answer: The Power And Potential Of Environment

My mom (Dr. Lynette Louise, The Brain Broad) works successfully with people who have all types of mental health challenges around the world. 

One of the things she has made clear to me in our conversations about her work is this: Your environment is affecting you. Psychologically and physically. Be aware, purposeful, and willing to make big changes in the choosing and creation of your environment. 

One of the things I find fascinating about this truth is that simply knowing and believing it gives you a most important tool to help yourself and your loved ones, regardless of your surroundings! You don't need to have overwhelming smarts or a fancy education to use this info. Just pay attention to yourself and your loved ones, and keep an eye open for clues, and be willing to make changes. 

So, knowing that your environment plays a big role in your mental and physical health can help you get healthy, no matter your environment! 

Funny, right? I mean, my mom works in homes of every style and culture, yet this important fact, that the world we immerse ourselves in matters to such a powerful degree, helps my mom effectively help her clients regardless of their environment. 

So look around you, friends. Be willing to make big and small changes to your chosen environment of beliefs, friends, culture, and habits. 

When us eight kids were small (my adopted siblings still multi-diagnosed and overwhelmingly challenged) my mom often moved towns, tweaked her belief systems, and changed professions in order to create a safe and healthy world for us kids. It always helped! Always, always!

Regardless of where or how you live, you are able to help your family by being aware and purposeful of where and how you live while keeping an open eye on how it is affecting you and being willing to make changes. 

That's some empowering stuff! 

I encourage you to watch my mom's international docu-series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD in order to see how well she uses any and every environment - along with neuorfeedback and behavior science - to point out problems, make changes, and begin healing. (I almost want to insist that you watch it, but you would probably feel like I was being bossy and then purposefully push back against my insistance to prove your independance, which is something I do far more often than I care to admit, push away from a good idea just because someone seemed to be acting like they know what's best for me and so I want to put my own adulthood on display while acting like a child and giving into a knee jerk reaction to be my own woman by saying no, and then making up some reason I pretend is smart about why I'm saying no... not that you would act that way just because I sometimes do but, you know, I don't want to risk it and then you don't watch the show and you miss out on amazing entertainment and learning.)  Giggle!

The family we are given, the family we choose, and the family we build is complex and interwoven. We aren't responsible for making the world be the way we want it to be, and we shouldn't make the mistake of trying to make our family members be the way we imagine they should be, but we do want to take steps to build, discover, and allow for a world and family that is healthy for us at any given time in our lives.

There is a heavy responsibility in this knowledge. I know. But, along with that, there is freedom and potential in it! So try to accept the responsibity while focusing on the fun of the freedom! Build on that potential and discover the various environments and surroundings that suit you! 

Our environment is affecting us. It is helping grow us, and our families, into who we are. Let's have fun and play the important role of being purposeful and open to  change!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: Doing Daydreaming

This is something I am often doing: looking, wondering, and wandering with my mind. 

This is not me taking a break or planning my day or avoiding responsibility. This is me doing something. 

And although I also do many other things, this feels like one of the more valuable things. Actually, it has proven itself time and again to be one of the more valuable things.

How unfortunate it is to create a culture that tells its children to focus, attend, plan, work, mimic, memorize, practice, and prove so much more often than doing this. Than doing daydreaming.

It feels like a cruel mistake, telling our children to tune into us and what we say so much more than tuning into themselves. Actually, it has proven itself time and again to be a cruel mistake. 

Let's allow our children the freedom to look, wonder, and wander with their minds. And let's insist on the allowance of it elsewhere. 

We can begin by doing, and valuing, more of it ourselves. 

What an important and fun homework assignment, friends!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Looking up at the sky through a tangle of tree branches. Doing daydreaming.

Autism Answer: Loopholes for Mental Health!

Psst! I know a loophole!!

So, my mom, Lynette Louise ("The Brain Broad") is no longer taking new clients - although, after announcing to folks that April was the last month she'd be accepting newbies she did get a whole bunch of wonderful new families to work with! - but even though she won't accept new CLIENTS, she is still willing to come to your home and teach you and your network via the In Home Parent Program!

See?! Loophole!

Okay, not exactly a loophole. Having Lynette accept you as a client and come to your home for a three-day outreach, which is followed up with a lifetime of having her on your team, is different from the In Home Parent Program, where she comes to your home and teaches you and your group in a workshop style setting. Though, they are similar. And they're both life enhancing experiences. So you can see why I thought of it as a loophole.

But, wait! Now I know the loophole! She did say that she will happily mentor and consult with experts, teachers, therapists etc. for new clients. She would love to help your team understand and recreate (with your personal flavor and flair, of course!) the amazing results and successes she consistently has. So, maybe that's the loophole?

For goodness sake, I almost forgot to remember that she's still speaking, performing, and running workshops at all kinds of events! If the topic has any connection to the brain (and pretty much everything has a connection to the brain!) she has a talk or performance to share. Effective Leadership Event? Yup! She's your gal! Neurofeedback for autism? She's a top notch expert! Inspiration for parents and professionals? The Brain Broad has audiences on their feet! Understanding abuse and creating healthy relationships? Storytelling and brain science with Lynette gives you the tools! I could go on. So here's yet another loophole for learning with Lynette! Hire her for your event or be an attendee when she's presenting.

Oh, ya! And also you can still read her books, watch her videos, and - most importantly - watch her work with families around the world in her international docu-series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD - on The Autism Channel and via Vimeo On Demand. All of which she's going to continue to build, write, and release. So, in a way, you can invite her into your home with ease. Loophole!! 

It turns out there are many mental health with Lynette Louise loopholes!

All these loopholes (and more) can be found on her websites.

Here, allow me to bring them to you: 

Brain and Body - Mental health related - tons of neurofeedback info, specialist introductions,  and testimonials: www.brainbody.net

Letter from Lynette re: how she did her outreaches (use it to create something similar for your family: How I Work
 
Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad) - Lynette related - tons of info, videos, fun stuff, emotional stuff, mental health songs, personal stories, and links to pretty much everything she does. www.lynettelouise.com

FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Seasons One (Uganda) and Two (USA) and trailer for the upcoming third season (Israel): FIX IT IN FIVE
 

So, if you're like me and you like loopholes, have fun picking your favorite! Sure, Lynette Louise isn't taking on new clients anymore but you can sorta be a new client no matter what my mom says!

Wait a minute! My mom LOVES loopholes! I bet these are all here on purpose. She wants you to explore these loopholes! Sweet!

Have a lovely loophole lovin' day, friends! tee hee!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

When The Brain Broad comes to your home or event she always brings her big brain!

 

Autism Answer: Ask For The Why Of Actions

A Thought While Sipping Coffee: 

When I see adults talking to children with an attitude of, "I am the boss of you and you're only being 'good' when you do as I say," I can feel like I'm lost and alone and unsure of what action I should take, and I often feel like crying. 

Yet, when I see adults talking to children with an attitude of, "I've learned things about living that I want to show you and you know things I want to remember," I feel a connection and beauty, like I've met a kindred spirit; and I also often feel like crying. 

We tend to do a lot of the same things for different reasons (crying, for example) so don't be shy about asking - yourself and your loved ones - for the 'why' of a behavior or action. 

Also, allow yourself and your loved ones the freedom to discover the answer of why over time. 

"Remember, the timetable is arbitrary. There is no point at which a child must be done and done is an illusion.” ~Lynette Louise (aka The Brain Broad)

Some of the most important things I've learned about myself, my loved ones, and society in general, came while exploring the why of seemingly odd behaviors or actions. Autism, as we well know, invites some interesting actions! Yet always, when my interest is authentic and my communication open, we can figure out a why. And always, it's revealing and surprising. 

So ask for the why of actions. Even with family and friends who struggle to communicate. Take time and have fun with it! Be honestly interested and listen creatively. I'm not good at understanding my brother's words, but over the years I've learned so much about him. Admittedly, with help from our mom - but that's part of listening and being honestly interested. My brother talks to me and tells me the why of his actions; often the why of his actions is an attempt to talk to me. 

Communication and action are one and the same. But we don't all speak the same action-language. 

So, ask for the why. The foundation of the action.
If I'm crying, go ahead and ask why.
If my brother is jumping and screaming, go ahead and ask why.
In exploring why we learn so much.
We connect and we learn. 
About ourselves and each other.

PERSONAL REQUEST: When you're talking to kids I hope you'll consider an attitude of, "I've learned things about living that I want to show you and you know things I want to remember." I truly think it's a great way to talk to kids. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

 

Autism Answer: How Our Kids Are Doing In School Is Not How Our Kids Are Doing

REMINDER: Our children's grades do not tell us how our children are doing. They tell us how our children's grades are doing. 

Sure, they are worth chatting about with our rugrats but good grades do not equal doing good, or vice versa. 

Often I hear parents ask each other: "How are the kids doing?" And far too often I hear a quick response that is some version of: "Great! She's in honor roll this year." or "Awesome! He's finally getting his school work in on time and bringing up his grades." or "Struggling. Her teachers tell me that she doesn't really apply herself or do the work." 

My hope is that we parents will remember to pay attention to how our kids feel about school and what they're actually learning, but we'll easily know that how they are is not about grades. Their grades do tell us a story about our children, they give us an idea of what they struggle with and care about and what their motivators are. But the grades aren't about HOW they're doing. Sure, most of us kind of "get" that but we're losing our grip on how true it is. 

When we run into old friends at the grocery store and they ask: "How are the kids doing?" I hope we'll easily respond with some version of: "Great! She's really into this new idea she has about writing the story for a video game." or "Awesome! He's been telling me all about why he wants to build Eco friendly buildings in busy American cities." or "Struggling. She feels confident about her ideas most days but struggles to like herself. We'll get there though. School is helping, she has a great group of friends and a supportive counselor." 

Some of our children go to school, so ignoring their grades or teacher reports would be silly. But their grades do not tell us how they're doing. 

Our children do. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: Do You Have A Book Like This In Your Home?

"MIRACLES ARE MADE leads you on an incredible emotional journey. Lynette Louise is an amazing woman who brings love, inspiration and hope to families of children on the autistic spectrum. A must read for every parent!" ~Alisa Wolf, M.Ed. -SPED, Executive Director/Founder Actors for Autism 

 

Me and a book I love about a family I love; mine.

MIRACLES ARE MADE: A Real Life Guide to Autism still holds a place as one of my all time favorite books. Written by my mom I confess, I expected to roll my eyes and think things like "That's so mom." or "Who cares about us?" or "That story again?!"

But, no. I was moved, taught, guided, and newly in love with my adventurous pioneering family. Things that nobody would do because nobody was doing it, my mom did! She held our hands, kept a loving eye on how we were affected, and shifted course when her attentive and strange mind knew it was necessary. She always knew before things became a problem.

So, yes! It's "So mom," and thank goodness! Her out of the box brain, with the visions and the fairness and the love, love, love for all children, is unusual and beautiful and So Mom!

"Who cares about us?" We should! She reminds us why our unique family is uniquely valuable! Not because we're "cooler" or "better" but because we did it different, and it worked! 

"That story again?" The one where my brothers were said, by everyone who proposed to want to help them, to be useless and sad and pathetic and unhelpable yet my mom refused to see or understand such foolishness. And so she helped them, in unique ways that are not taught elsewhere, to never believe they (or anyone) is useless, sad, pathetic, or unhelpable. That story? Again! Please! 

"The parent is inevitably left as the final arbiter of what is good for the child, the final judge of what is and isn't helping. MIRACLES ARE MADE gives them the necessary background, and backbone, to level the playing field in the face of so many therapeutic options." ~Seigfried Othmer, Ph.D., Chief Scientist of the EEG Institute, President of the Brian Othmer Foundation, Author of ADD: The 20-Hour Solution

And she tells so many other stories! New ones I never knew from clients around the globe who she helped make their own miracles! Families with autism, Parkinson's, depression, ADHD, strokes, seizure disorders and much more. 

"In MIRACLES ARE MADE, my mom has shared with passion, humor and intelligence our lifetime of learning. The therapies, struggles and mistakes made along the road to independence for three of my four autistic brothers have become a gift for other moms. Other sisters. Other families. This book is a gift for anyone who spends any time at all with children!" ~Tsara Shelton, Writer & Coffee Sipper, Author of Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself: A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up 

MIRACLES ARE MADE: A Real Life Guide to Autism is a book about autism, love, family, neurofeedback, diversity, raising the bar and creative ideas. It's a book that I pick up and peruse again and again for inspiration and insight. 

I hope you have a book like that in your home!

If not, I invite you to take a peek at these: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/
Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: IMAGINE and Do

Me imagining.

IMAGINE: A culture where we don't ask our children to find a way to fit into society but, instead, we ask how we can shift society so it values and welcomes all of our children. 

Our culture is broken, friends. 

Now:
We tell our kids to sit, listen, focus, and to believe what we tell them. 

When we do this we harm them. We tell them with our actions and rules not to be wild or curious beyond our vision, we suggest that their natural inclinations make them "wrong" or "broken" and our chances for global health and happiness grow farther out of reach. We have so much power! 

Instead: 
Let's ask our kids to play, show, explore distractions and to believe they have the answers.

If we do this our world will shift - quickly! - and our health and happiness will be unavoidable. We will begin to remember who we are, and our values and celebrations will align more naturally with being human rather than fitting into schedules and prefabricated, made up, boxes. We have so much power!

IMAGINE: A culture where we remember that children are not less than but equal to, and diversity and difference are to be valued not restrained. 

Now, join me in doing some of the things we imagine. Be careful, don't get yourselves in trouble, friends. Society still holds the keys to locks that shouldn't exist. 

But if we all shift now, the changes will be profound!

And our children (and ourselves) will grow into who they were born to be!

We have so much power!

Let's share it with our young ones and show them how to use it with kindness.

IMAGINE: And do! 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

My sister's youngest daughter and my youngest son, imagining and exploring.

 

Autism Answer: The Man on The Wall

I was left nearly speechless last night, friends! Shay, my seventeen year old son, shared with me in detail a dream he had, the story he wants to write, and the meaning he believed it had. 

Now, I know Shay is brilliant and insightful in strange and sometimes scary ways. His confidence when connecting the problems inherent in the school system, for example, when coupled with his confidence in telling school officials all about it, has put us in challenging positions. His willingness to bravely walk into a room filled with bigoted and racist people specifically so he can tell them why they're dangerous, wrong, and cruel, knowing even the attitude that his opinions and ideas are equal to those of any adult in the room will anger and inflame them, has frightened me on more than one occasion. 

I taught my sons this, that they are equal and brilliant and free to think for themselves, but I didn't always know the dangers. I'm glad I didn't because, had I known, I don't think I would have been brave enough to teach what's right. My son, though, is brave. 

But he's also seventeen. He's brilliant and brave, with seventeen years of experience and seventeen year old angst. So his brilliant and brave connections are still less deep and more angry than I imagine they one day will be. 

Last night, friends, they were deep and the anger was absorbed into the narrative brilliantly. 

The dream, connections, and insights are his to tell, and he is planning on telling them. He spent the night writing it down and will probably turn it into a short film. But for now, he's given me permission to share some points.

The Dream/ The Story

*A school exists where the students are surrounded by a wall, a wall that they're told is to keep them safe from the outside world. 

*A drug exists that makes people hallucinate and see their surroundings as ugly and dead. They're told never to take this dangerous drug. 

*A group of students take the drug and adventure to the wall, which they feel curious and compelled to climb over. A man who lives on the wall greets them and invites them to come in. 

*Once on the other side they see diversity, nature, and beauty. "It looks like a forest in British Columbia." my son describes. They have been told that it's dangerous and cruel here, so they are sure that what they see now isn't true. 

*The students expect the drug to wear off and know that then they'll see the true ugliness on the other side of the wall. But when it wears off there's still only beauty. Until they look back. From this side there is no wall, and they see their school is decrepit and dead. They disappear into the beauty. 

*Two teachers (they are male, all the teachers are male) from the school go looking for the students and decide, also, to take the drug. Assuming it will give them insight into where the students would have gone. The hallucinations are intense and everyone looks dead. 

*At the wall they meet the man who greets them kindly. In return they are cruel, knowing what they've always been told: That things from the other side of the wall are dangerous and cruel. 

*The man then gives them what they expect, sending them cruelly away (with an imaginative and symbolic action sequence). 

*The teachers head back to their school, which looks decrepit and dead because of the drug, to warn others about the man from the wall. But their own fear and rush to conclusions sends them to their own demise. 

*I don't want to give away the ending. But it's insightful, and lovely, and intelligent. And kind of creepy. 

His Interpretation: My son then tells me that the dream is probably a direct result of Donald Trump talking about keeping others away, the drug represents truth, seeing everything within the wall as "dead" is symbolic of how we might as well be dead when we don't think for ourselves and welcome diversity, and my son says that in the dream HE was the man on the wall. He was the man who could see it all at once. 

The story, the dream, the connections are not unique to my son. We've all seen movies and read books and had dreams that tell this story. But it's always impressive and far more deeply known and understood when we create and share the story ourselves. For my seventeen year old son to have this dream and understand it, and then to feel obligated and excited to share it, that is somewhat unique. 

And very much him. Very much "a Shay thing" as we say around here. 

I get afraid sometimes of what can happen when my sons speak out and tell truths that threaten people with power. But because my son is only happy when following his true thought train, I'm more afraid of what can happen, what does happen, when we don't speak our truth. 

When we accept the wall and the stories we're told. When we don't experiment and see for ourselves.
When we choose to be anybody but the man on the wall. 

For me, that means allowing my sons, and myself, to tell our truths and live with the consequences. 

Until our truths change the consequences.
I hope you'll join us on the wall. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

 

He was up all night writing, and snacking on cereal.

Autism Answer: Facilitated Communication - A Brother and Sister Adventure

 give attention your way
i will do it mine
feed some souls with music
fastest way to fine

~Dar Shelton (2015)

It's been a while since I've shared with you one of my childhood cruelties. A thought or action I'm not proud of but where I was able to learn an important lesson. 

Let's fix that, shall we! 

My brother, Dar, started facilitated communication when he was about ten years old (or so). My mom was overjoyed to discover this method of chatting with my brother. She'd been insisting he had things to say for years, and she was certain he'd also been reading, so when this Ouija Board type talk was introduced to her, a way for my brother to point to letters on a board, spelling words, sentences, paragraphs, poems, my mom wasted no time learning and teaching all of us siblings. 

The thing is, I was a sibling who thought mom was almost as crazy as Dar. No way he had anything to say! No way he could spell! No way! And besides, the way to help him "speak" was to give him support, pull back a bit on his arm while he used that pressure to regulate his intention tremor and give him confidence as he pointed to letters. In other words, it looked like we were guiding his hand, like I liked to do with the Ouija Board. 

But some of the things Dar said were so different, so beautifully surreal, words that explained things in ways I'd never experienced, as if he were pulling them through another world and putting them together in ways we could almost understand, and certainly feel. 

deep in Dar's head is a contact c time capsule

it tick tick ticks and hurts his ears

especially when the world's asleep

those non-drowsy tiny time pills tick all night long 

~Dar Shelton (1993)

Unlike when I would push the planchette on the Ouija board, I was left honestly wondering and wanting to know more about the world he was composing for us. 

When we help our loved ones via facilitated communication, it's true that we will and do influence the message a bit, as is true with every other form of communication. But I think the most important thing is to keep in mind that facilitated communication is about believing our autistic friends and family member do have something to say, and we want to know what that is. 

When my brother began facilitating I didn't believe in it at all. He needed help, and to me he didn't seem like a person with things to say. I was young and cruel. I was overly influenced by the so many others who insisted it was impossible, he couldn't possibly have ideas and thoughts to share. He was a broken person who couldn't possibly learn to read or write. I believed them quietly while I let mom show me how to use the board with my brother. 

While mom taught me how to help him I struggled with my own issue. I liked being the helper, the one who could do things for mom, and I didn't want to look like someone who couldn't do this so, like with the Ouija planchette, I lead my brother's hand. 

Dar looked at me in a strange and uncommon way. I got my first inkling of how wrong I was and how right mom was. He was looking at me with so much hurt in his eyes, I knew that he knew I didn't believe in him.

But that didn't stop me right away. In front of people I would still lead him a bit - which meant he would reach toward letters on the board and if he took long I would decide for myself which letter I thought he was trying to reach for. However, when no one was looking I would try to do it honestly. 

There is a skill in giving him the support he needs without leading, and I eventually got it. 

So, yes, sometimes his words belonged almost entirely to me, but most often they were a mixture of us. Brother and sister. And then I learned how to let them be almost entirely his.

Facilitated communication is one of those things that has camps "for" and "against" which is something I'm pretty much against. Camps, that is. Though I understand why these camps have cropped up. People have been accused of horrendous things via facilitated communication. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, and more. If the accusations aren't true, if they are words coming from the helper "leading" I can see why this would be cause for concern. But false accusations is a thing that happens in the world and with all types of communication, and it's sad. It happens more in a world of talkers than non. And people who struggle to speak, or who can't speak at all, are enormously at risk of being abused. They are abused often and easily, and it's a terrible thing. 

However, I also agree with my mom who believes it's better to always encourage my brother to practice speech first, for obvious and even less obvious reasons. So I wouldn't pitch a tent in the "for" facilitated communication camp either, where I'd have to argue that it's necessary and best and has to be in all schools and, and, and.... 

Facilitated communication is a gift I wouldn't want taken from my brother. It's an imperfect tool that plays a perfect role in his challenging life. 

 put family under your pillow

~Dar Shelton (2014)

Today Dar still prefers a little help (my mom invented a brace to try and simulate the pressure he needs, he doesn't like it) but he can type independently. Well, someone still has to be there encouraging him and promising we want to know what he has to say. He shares insightful and cheeky posts on his Facebook profile. His intention tremor and poor fine motor skills often mean we step in and delete letters for him so he can start again. Without the pressure or support his fingers hit the wrong letters and words. It's extremely challenging for him. But he can now finally do it. 

Often, though, he'll ask mom to hold his elbow while he types. And she will.

For years and years and years my mom supported his arm, invented things, believed in him, taught us how to do the same, reminded him to try and try for independence without withholding support.

And the most exciting thing happened.

He sent me this in the mail. 

His first independent handwriting!

A letter I got in the mail.

So, regardless of how we choose to help our loved ones tell us what they have to say, I suggest we value and believe in their ability. I suggest we not judge others for how they help their friends and family share ideas. And I suggest we be willing to change our beliefs when it becomes clear that we were wrong. 

Like I was wrong. 

Now, I wonder if I should gather my children together tonight to play Ouija? And this time I won't influence the planchette.

Maybe I'll discover that I've been a believer all along,

I was just afraid of what I might learn when talking with the other side....  

Hugs, smiles, and love!!

Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Author's Invitation: I happily invite you to peek at this video of Man Alive, a documentary style show that featured our family back in 1994. You'll also have an opportunity to watch Dar facilitate and to hear the entirety of Dar's poem!

Autism, Abuse, Lynette Louise, Prisons, and Man Alive

Autism Answer: Are you in The Loop?

Are you in The Loop? Lynette Louise trots the globe and offers exclusive first looks! #mentalhealth Sign up here---> https://t.co/vmKqMqIm1k

— Tsara Shelton (@TsaraShelton) November 2, 2015

Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad travels the world. She speaks, performs, and writes books. She contributes articles to publications, acts as a source for reporters, hosts a few podcasts, is a guest on podcasts, and is working on her PhD in psychology with a specialty in psychophysiology. 

She works intimately with families around the globe, invited eagerly into their homes to share her understanding and skills - effectively guiding whole families toward health and enhancing abilities, everyone grows happily connected through play, purposeful behavior shifts, and neurofeedback. She offers this service free for the families who are highlighted on her unique and powerful docu-series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD. A show that airs on The Autism Channel, with season one now available for purchase. 

Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad is a mom. My mom. She spends all of her time sharing what she knows with a passion and non-stop energy that comes from knowing what families need. Not only what tools they need, and what tips they need, but the understanding and unconditional love they need. Lynette is a mom who works tirelessly to help the world grow healthier, because she loves the world and has gifts to share, but mostly it's for her children. For me. For my brothers. For my sisters. And for our children, her grandchildren. 

And for the hundreds of children and adults my mom, Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad, has adopted along the way.

https://t.co/gpD4BkkVX7 stay in the loop and sign up for The Loop The Brain Broad's newsletter goes out tomorrow!!!! #parents #neurofeedback

— Lynette Louise (@lynettelouise) November 3, 2015

And once a month my mom spends some time with me on the phone gathering and corralling all of the important tidbits of her work so that we can get it to you in a monthly email. The Loop is something we share with our family of friends to keep you easily updated. The Loop brings Lynette's work to you so that you can spend most of your time playing and connecting with your family, while Lynette runs around the world collecting the important bits you need to know. The Loop is also a way for Lynette to take a moment to see what's getting done, where she's going, and what's left to do.

Will Lynette be in your area? Has she written any timely articles that will help you understand something nagging at you in the news? Will she be talking to a guest or host about a controversial issue, offering insights and case studies, maybe in the form of Stories from the Road? Is the second season of Fix it in Five available yet? Does she have tips for getting through the holidays? What are families and professionals doing in other parts of the world that might help me with my mental illness? School isn't working for my child, what should I do? Can she answer a personal question of mine? I'm thinking about adopting but I want to ask her some questions, how do I contact her?

These are just a few of the kinds of things you'll get answers to when you're in The Loop. I encourage you to take a moment to sign up. 

Have a peek at the most recent edition.  <-------- click this link

Pretty awesome, huh? 

I'm looking forward to sharing The Loop with you! 

Hugs, smiles, and love!! 
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Are you in The Loop? You... ya, you. Are you in The Loop? Make sure you're in The Loop. Go here---->http://t.co/vmKqMqIm1k #mentalhealth

— Tsara Shelton (@TsaraShelton) October 5, 2015

Autism Answer: Take Advantage of a Quiet Mind to Hear Whispering Ideas (Tips to Beat Writer's Block & Parenting Block)

This is what it looks like to be busily beating Writer's Block. Not too shabby!

There was a reporter looking for writers who would share a tip for beating Writer's Block. She then wanted us to show how that tip could be transferred to writing wedding vows. I thought that was neat! So, I shared my tip. 

Then I thought it might be neat to share here with you, and transfer my tip, instead, to parenting. Because, you know, I like making everything about parenting!! 

So, my perseveration with parenting becomes your tip for beating Writer's Block and Parenting Block. (Feel free to roll your eyes at my obvious attempt to plant the 'perseverations are motivators and can be useful' seed. tee hee!) 

Tip 1  
How I beat writer's block:
I used to fear Writer's Block and that fear would paralyze me. It would make a home in my skull and point out all the obvious reasons that anything I had once upon a time written was merely fluke, and not nearly as good as I thought it was in the first place. But, I no longer fear it. Actually, today I embrace Writer's Block.

I get my writing energy from the mood that moves over me while I'm writing, but I get my ideas from the life I live when I'm not writing. So during those times that I find myself stumped by Writer's Block I take advantage of my quiet mind; I listen to and feel the ideas around me. When a feeling or idea starts an internal monologue, I just start writing, trusting that the mood will move over me.

It always does!

Tip 2  
Using This Tip for Parenting Block:

Quick Definition of Parenting Block - When you want to help your child feel happier or learn a skill or move forward but you feel like you've tried everything and you think you have no more ideas or creative solutions.

Don't fear Parenting Block, don't fear that you're not going to think of something helpful or impressively creative or pertinent to your child's situation. Fear hinders us in most things, especially parenting (and writing). 

Instead, trust that the mood will move over you; but listen actively to the ideas around you. Listen to the idea you get when you notice how often your daughter picks at her toes, feel the creative motivators that tickle your inner monologue when you hear your son repeat the same phrases or sounds that sooth him, wonder why the toe picking and sound repeating is a consistent habit for your loved one and listen when they show you, tell you, give you clues. Too often we are so busy parenting that we forget to slow down, follow, listen, and learn. 

Sometimes Parenting Block is our best Parenting Tool. 

When you are out of ideas, relax and listen. Don't fear that the ideas won't come, they will! And they will come easier when you get fear out of the way. 

Hear those whispers of ideas, listen to them, and then just start parenting. Trust the mood to move over you, allow it to meander (you can tweak the idea later) and know that parenting is only a little bit smart ideas and creative solutions. Mostly, it's you loving your child, learning with him, listening to her, and saying what you feel. 

So, turn up the volume on those whispering ideas, and parent from the place where you feel. 

Bonus Tip: 
Writer's Block & Parenting Block 
When all else fails, fall back on an old favorite. A thing you and your children love. Dancing, singing, walking, movie watching, building, cooking, wrestling, driving, reading. But do it with the intention for newness. Listen different and see different. Often our greatest moments come when we revisit an old favorite with new eyes and ears. 

This works for both writing and parenting!! 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

My oldest son, beating Writer's Block with an idea I gave him after my own Parenting Block.

Autism Answer: Driving Lesson/Life Lesson

 
I let my fifteen year old son drive our old beat-up van down the dusty country road that leads to our house. "Do you know where to aim your eyes?" I asked him, remembering how uncertain I had been at his age. Should I look at the road immediately in front of me or farther ahead?? And what about when making a turn? Do I watch where my tires are meeting the road? If so, how?

In typical teenage fashion, my son offered a cheeky,"Don't know mom. Should I keep my eyes at ten and two?" Very funny! 

"I'm being serious, you goofball!" I answered with a nervous giggle. I'm always a bit nervous when letting my boys take the wheel.

He humored me by answering honestly, though still with a bit of attitude,"I look ahead, where I'm going. Not at my hands or on the road right in front of me, but farther ahead. If I'm focused on where I'm going, I'll still see all the other stuff but without being distracted by it."

Well I'll be! 
"Exactly! Did I already tell you this?"

"Mom, you tell us that stuff all the time. Not about driving, but about life. I just noticed that it works for driving, too."

I'm proud to say, he's quite ready to take the wheel.
 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 


 

My two oldest sons, at the wheel.

 

Autism Answer: When You Find Your Answer, Celebrate! Then Seek Out The Next One

Sometimes I'll read a book or watch a film that makes me think,"Wow! My life has just been changed. My world is better now because of the perspectives and ideas and nudges this story has given me! I don't ever need to read another book or see another movie again. You know, if everyone in the world would just experience this story, there would be peace, love, happiness, and passionate people everywhere!"

And for a few hours I can't help but really truly honestly believe it.

It reminds me of when my mom would find a healthy therapy or diet choice for my autistic brothers. It reminds me of the times she worked day and night to afford vision therapy for everyone, or macrobiotics, or blue green algae. 

All of these things are part of the reason my brothers have grown so healthy, surpassed every expectation, discovered happiness and personal passions. All of these things were an almost obsession for my mom who'd think, "This is it! This is the story that makes sense and will give my children what they need to find all their answers!"

Which is lucky for us. If mom hadn't been almost obsessed, she may not have found the strength needed to dig deep and discover ways to make it happen. A little obsession or intense interest can be a gift when motivated correctly (as autism has taught us!).

I'll remember my mom, and think about the "perfect story" I've just experienced, and then I'll giggle to myself. Because I know important, healthy, thoughtful stories are like important, healthy, thoughtful meals. 

We need them. We should seek them out purposefully. But we can't stop with only one! 

And we don't all need the same foods in the same amounts. There is no "one right meal" or "one right story" and we will not be finished growing healthy from one meal no matter how carefully everything on our plate was grown, blended, chosen, and chewed. We need more than one perfect healthy meal. 

Besides, healthy meals are more than just a chart of specific nutrition broken down into perfect portions. Smells, moments, tastes, vitamins, and minerals all matter! The joy I get in a bite of cheesecake with friends nourishes me differently, but almost equally, as the spinach salad I had for dinner. 

It's the same with the books I choose to read and the movies I choose to watch and the stories behind therapies my mom found (and some she invented!) for my brothers.

It's smart to choose mostly spinach salad stories--ones that are rich in known nutrients-- so that we'll get vitamins and minerals that matter. But consuming only spinach salad stories will leave us sick and in need of more nutrients, even if we sprinkle in fancy bits and pieces. A handful of nuts or cubed cheese doesn't make it not still a spinach salad. Healthy is only healthy when we insist on variety and balance.

Healthy is different from person to person, culture to culture, soul to soul. Healthy changes over time and with new information. 

So I like to allow myself the grandiose thoughts of, "This story will bring world peace and never-ending cups of coffee to every home!" because that's fun. 

But soon I crave more. I need more. I begin to seek out more healthy stories; the next meal. Sometimes I even decide to invent it myself. 

So seek out healthy stories, friends! Eat and share healthy recipes for happiness and growth! Don't get so caught up in the seeking that you forget to enjoy the meals, but don't get so sure of the meal that you don't take time to be sure it's still healthy. 

And giggle when you find yourself thinking you've found the perfect panacea to all of the worlds ills. Celebrate it! I'm betting that's better than fearing there are no right answers. 

"Health is a series of choices." ~ Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad

So keep on choosing friends!
Keep on seeking the next meal!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

A few books I was sure would be enough. Then, I wanted more!

For fun:
A short list of books I'm sure are able to change the world for the better: 

Miracles are Made: A Real Life Guide to Autism by Lynette Louise
Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
We are Water by Wally Lamb
A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki
Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee
Between the World and Me by Ta-Nahisi Coates

A short list of films I'm sure are able to change the world for the better:

Living with Lynette written by Lynette Louise
Remember the Titans written by Gregory Allen Howard
The Intouchables written by Olivier Nakache and Eric Toledano
A Knights Tale written by Brian Helgeland
The Never Ending Story written by Wolfgang Peterson and Herman Weigel
Carhopping written by Tsara Shelton (not yet produced) tee hee!

A short list of therapies and foods that helped my family grow healthy: 

Macrobiotic Diet 
Auditory Training
Dialogues and Play/behavior techniques learned from The Option Institute
Travel Therapy invented by my mom, Lynette Louise
Blue Green Algae and other supplements (esp. when we shift and change them over time) 

**The One that always helps everyone every single time**
Neurofeedback when done by my mom, Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad 
I'm certain it's because she's gifted at understanding the brain but also at understanding behavior. Mom is world renowned for her talents at helping people with neurofeedback.